Reports are coming in that a cocker spaniel has had a perfectly reasonable and sensible reaction to somebody ringing the doorbell.

The incident occurred when the eight-year-old black Cocker Spaniel called Graham heard the doorbell ring last night just as his owners were putting their three year old toddler and twelve week old baby to bed.

“I heard the door bell and thought, whatever, it’s just Dave from next door.” Graham told The Rochdale Herald. “I knew it was Dave because I’m a dog and therefore I have a really excellent sense of smell. I could smell it was Dave so I thought, it’s no big deal.”

“My owners obviously knew that Dave was at the door on account of the doorbell ringing so I thought I’ll just sit here on the sofa quietly because I’m pretty sure nobody wants to wake the kids up again. It took hours to get them to settle.”

“The really important thing in these situations is to stay calm and definitely not panic.”

“Usually I’d just go mental. You know, really let rip. Bark the place down, run around like a crazy thing. Really make sure that everybody on the street knows that there is somebody at the door.”

“But last night I thought, everybody is tired. Me making a massive fuss over somebody we know ringing the doorbell isn’t going to help anybody. Besides I’m saving my energy for when somebody on the telly inevitably knocks on a door on Corrie.”

“That’s my time to shine.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.