Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice younger voters using discounts for Saga.
One spokesman said, “After much consideration we’ve decided that appealing to a broader range of people is beneficial to us. Obviously, it will be easier to achieve our aims if young and old, rich and poor come together to share our view and help us achieve it. I know there’s many in our movement who don’t see the point in appealing to younger people but to be truly effective that’s what we’re going to need to do. That’s why; we’re going to be offering generous discounts on Saga products to any person who owns their own teeth and joins our movement.”
It’s unclear as yet what levels of discount will be available. Our insider said, “Discounts on trips to Russia are definitely on the list. Oh, and Belarus. Nigel managed to swing that one somehow.”
It’s also understood that the Leave Means Leave campaign are also going to try to recruit more women. “Obviously, not appealing to 50% of the population would be an issue. We need to include women more. Obviously, Nigel’s sexual charisma goes a long way but we can’t rely on that alone. No, all new lady members will immediately win themselves a free rum and coke at our next meeting. Alos, there’s a lovely range of Delia cook books with discounts on them. The crumpet love cooking,”
Other improvements to be offered will be discounts on members own funeral costs and free statins for all new members.
