National News

Breakthrough for influential alt-gay movement as the legendary Ruth Hunt, CEO of Stonewall, personally announced the plan to address the concerns that alt-gays were insufficiently recognised at Pride marches. She said: “You might think I would...

A new survey of social attitudes out earlier today has revealed that Torquay has turned into the Hate Capital of the UK overnight after groups of xenophobic, racist and ultra-right wing political activists gathered...

The numbers are now in for Satire Aid's Big Fat Secret Santa appeal. Together the readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Angry People in Local Newspapers, Tuckered and Southend News Network we have bought...

An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'. Michael Gove has been cast as Tick-Tock, Theresa May as Captain Hook...

Brexiteers have demanded the Government grant settled status to cognitive dissonance. The demands come as many companies that employ lots of people in Britain threaten to turn project fear into project reality. Brexiteer Cliff Edge...

In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities of all its members. Members who were deemed to be lefty...

Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary majority to force through the ‘British Calendar Act’, giving Theresa May...

A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald that contrary to what would be expected, they don't see...

Lexicographers who compile the Collins English Dictionary have been signed up en masse for a course in basic arithmetic, it has been revealed. The move comes in the wake of their nominating “fake news” to...

Denise Dufite of Middleton has captured the spirit of Christmas by ignoring the twelfth phone call of the day. Instead of answering calls from no less than nine different individuals, Denise has instead eaten...

A Rochdale Man who was running dangerously low on half price Pringle socks from TK Maxx has praised friends and relatives for stepping in and buying him almost two dozen pairs for Christmas.

Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state of the East Coast Mainline. Corbyn rounded on a reporter who...

Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted Farron and said "Why should anyone listen to you? You're party...

Devastated pensioner Richard Branson, whose home was destroyed by Hurricane Irma, has been overwhelmed by Virgin product customers who have agreed to continue to pay over the odds for second rate services so that...

First they ran out of chicken; Then it was gravy. Now KFC have run out of ice cubes. Ruth Sanders of Rochdale KFC said, "We've spent all day having to tell people that we've run...

"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit stuffed then. George Osborne said, "She once bought pizza for us...