Electric Shock

Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss

2
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

0
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...

Defiant Brit resumes place in queue

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Stuart Anderson, has resumed his place in the Borough Market cheese stall queue. Anderson, 34, told the Herald that he was going to a dinner...

Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards

4
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Rubbish in Street

Piled rubbish masks smell of Birmingham city

0
Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher...
Fat Kid

Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity

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Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking. 12...

Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole

An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole. Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
unhappy man

Proper Patriots furious about Po Ling Day

0
Patriots across Ingerlaand are furious today after hearing that it's Po Ling Day. “Why we celebrating some bleeding foreigner, eh?” spat Rochdale UKIP supporter Arthur...
Piers Morgan

If you loved the Blitz you’ll love Brexit, says Piers Morgan

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Piers Morgan has told ITV viewers that if they loved the Blitz they're going to love Brexit. Morgan made the comments in on Good Morning...

Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke

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Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke. "Everything was looking good,...

Santa slams rumours that he doesn’t exist as “fake news”

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Father Christmas of North Pole fame is said to be fuming like a well mulled wine after a rumour has spread that he doesn't...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

0
Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...

Rochdale gran still using same can opener she bought in 1967

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A Rochdale woman has been telling the Herald how she has had the same can opener for 51 years this year. Bernadette Gottelieb told us,...
Royal Family

United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four

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It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today. We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...

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