Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check
Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed.
The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.
Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers...
Thousands Face Having to go to Work as RMT Calls for Driver Walk-In
Hundreds of thousands of rail passengers face actually going to work as the RMT told Southern Rail employees to actually do their jobs.
Staff will...
Dominic Cummings appears on TV to tell plebs to f*** off in person
Dominic Cummings has appeared on the BBC to tell everyone to f*** off and leave him alone.
Speaking to Secretary of the Boris Booster Club,...
We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
Doncaster couple finally getting some use out of speed boat they won on Bullseye...
Doncaster residents Bill and Orla Board have been telling the Rochdale Herald how they have finally found a use for the speed boat they...
Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops
Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg.
Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...
Dominic Raaaaab resigns to commit more time to GCSE resit
Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision.
Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've...
Charity begins at home, say dickheads who don’t give money to charity
Total wankers around the country have responded to increases in the foreign aid budget by insisting that charity begins at home.
The wankers, who can...
You’re In Or You’re Out
Casual racism is set to become a thing of the past under new Prime Minister Theresa May.
Shoe-obsessed Theresa May has announced plans to eradicate...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Scientists confirm that builder’s tea is just tea
A team of scientists from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that builder's tea is, in fact, just tea.
Clarence Tetley,...
Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street
UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory.
After visiting Her...
Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
Get behind my nutters version of Brexit says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Jacob Rees-Mogg has attempted to counter accusations that he has no Brexit plan by unveiling one so fancifully insane a Texan jury wouldn't recommend...
