Britain has been warned that Brexit could be as bad as Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. The warning comes a week after the Government refused to deny that Brexit will be as bad as Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.

One analyst said, “Brexit has a huge potential but it just doesn’t seem to have the momentum as previous initiatives. Everyone was expecting some hugely significant series of events that would be exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Instead, we’ve got a thrilling drama about trade negotiations which really isn’t that thrilling.”

The analyst went on, “The opening sequence of David Davis and Michel Barnier was supposed to be thrilling but is entirely devoid of any excitement and things have just been crawling on since then. They had no on screen chemistry and Davis failed to portray the darkness associated with a disgraced former Defence Secretary. Worse still, Theresa May looks so wooden Hayden Christensen would be able to use her as a table.”

“Everyone was expecting Dominic Raaaaab to be an exciting new character. One UKIP member even went out and got a tattoo of him on his left leg. Instead we’ve ended up with the Jar Jar Binks of the Tory Party. Instead of podracing we’ve got Theresa May walking around Lake Garda. It doesn’t even make up for any short comings of the process whatsoever.”

Rochdale’s celebrity Brexiteer, Cliff Edge said, “I was expecting A New Hope in 2016. Now I’m sat wanting Darth Maul to meet up with everyone and just end it all. The problem is I’ve just realised that when you peel Darth Maul’s face back it’s actually Vladimir Putin and he’s actually Nigel Farage’s father.”

 

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.