The rises in the cost of posting your mum’s birthday card using The Royal Mail have now come into effect.

A first-class stamp will now cost you both legs below the knee and a second-class stamp now costs the fingers on your non dominant hand, under the price rises that came into force on Monday.

Stamps bought before the price rise can still be used without any need to top-up the cost as long as you are on the organ donor register.

Royal Mail said that low wages coupled with the need for more donors was considered when setting the new prices.

The Royal Mail added that the price rise was required to enable the now privatised Royal Mail to continue to provide the universal postal service, which means that the price of a stamp is the same irrespective of where in the UK the letter is sent from and to. This is great news for people in the Outer Hebrides whose mail is delivered by seaplane, not so fab for Mrs Goggins in the village post office in Upper Beeding who has to deal with her customers moaning about yet another price hike.

The price of a first-class stamp for a large letter has risen to one kidney OR your first grandchild. A second-class stamp for a large letter has also risen slightly to your grandmother’s wedding ring.

All the changes were first announced in February.