Jeremy Corbyn

Commie Corbyn pledges to nationalise your teeth

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Bearded Trotskyite do-gooder, Jeremy Corbyn has taken a break from sending care packages full of homemade jam to terrorists, to nationalise absolutely everything. Clueless commie...

Inner city youths escape prison for dogfighting by wearing red jackets and calling people...

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Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

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As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's...
Snowman

OUTRAGE as gender neutral snowbeing desecrated with COCK AND BALLS!!!

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GMP Saddleworth were last night were conducting a full manhunt, as the spate of gender neutral snow beings being cruelly desecrated with a carrot...
Big Ben

Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018

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Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due...

Babies born in Britain today to hear about home ownership via myths and legends

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Researchers from the Rochdale Institute for Social Morphology released today the results of their latest study into the changing oral traditions of the British...

Rail fares rise takes taking the piss further

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The average price of standing between a handful of sweaty commuters whilst the will to live is squeezed out of you is to rise by around 2.3%. Again.

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

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Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

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Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed

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Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed. After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...
Fat Kid

Anger as Rochdale drops out of top 5 towns for childhood obesity

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Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking. 12...

Ruins of sunken city in South Yorkshire ‘just Sheffield’, archeologists told

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Archeologists have been left disappointed today after being told that the ruins of an ancient sunken city was actually just Sheffield. Archeologist Bill Board told...

Man that spent last month saying all lives matter furious at 3 million Hong...

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A Rochdale man that has just spent a month telling anyone within earshot or on the internet that all lives matter has said he's...
Brexit Bus

Key Brexit aim amended from ‘extra 350m a week to spend’ to ‘not many...

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The new Brexit Secretary, Jeremy Rees-Gove has told hard-line Brexiteers to downplay their expectations. "It's become clear that writing something on the side of a...

Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid

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Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend. They...

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