Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Builder finishes job on time and under budget
A small building firm in Lancashire has become the first builder in the history of the industry to finish a job on time and...
Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...
Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...
Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Racists oddly quiet about global paedophile gang operating in Rochdale
Racists around the UK have been oddly quiet about the international paedophile network that has been operating in Rochdale, and everywhere else that matter, for centuries.
"We usually...
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.
The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...
Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives
The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021.
A spokesman told us, "The Tory Party...
Scarborough Earthquake Appeal
At 01:00 on Tuesday 3rd January, Britain's worst quake for 25 years hit Scarborough, Yorkshire measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale and causing untold...
Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts
Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Another Russian bloke Putin doesn’t like poisoned a coincidence, confirms Kremlin and Dorset police
The country has breathed a sigh of relief after Wiltshire Constabulary indicated that they had not had to deploy their counter-terrorism unit, it has...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Christmas ruined after husband caught shagging secretary on Christmas Eve
Christmas is officially ruined after the managing director of a local advertising agency was caught by his wife bonking his secretary on Christmas Eve.
Father...
Man singing “Free Tommy Robinson” thought he was entering competition to meet him
A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him.
Dave Wild...
Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN
The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is December for the billionth year...
Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi
Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi!
In...
