Microsoft worker takes Apple to court

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Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Nana

What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas

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A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on...

Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

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Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...

Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy

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Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...

Jeremy Hunt’s £44,000 office shower necessary for cleaning off his bullshit

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“Of course Jeremy needs a shower for his office. He’s in it right now as a matter of fact. Every time he opens his mouth, he spews out so much utter bullshit that it gets all over him and he has to get cleaned up.”
Corbyn

Fresh controversy as Corbyn pictured wearing a Beret and eating Scallops

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Jeremy Corbyn has caused fresh controversy by appearing on BBC Breakfast wearing a Beret and eating Normandy Scallops. Mr Corbyn was appearing to deny...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling awards ferry contract to Nigerian Prince after receiving fortuitous email

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Transport Secretary, Chris Grayling has announced that the Government have awarded a contract to provide ferries in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Grayling, the...

Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall

Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed

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The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...

Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract

There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news...
The Queen

Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew

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Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew. In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

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The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Joy as Palace confirms  Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding

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Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...

Collins Dictionary compilers to take course in basic arithmetic after calling ‘fake news’ the...

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Lexicographers who compile the Collins English Dictionary have been signed up en masse for a course in basic arithmetic, it has been revealed. The move...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

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Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...

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