Tory MP David Davies has demanded that the most recent group of refugee children, newly arrived in Britain, be taken straight to the dentist. 

After their perilous journey, together with their ordeal in the jungle camp at Calais, Mr Davies said it is imperative that their first stop should be the dentist.

“We have to get these children to the dentist,” said David Davies. “The health of their teeth is paramount. Have you any idea of the amount of bacteria freely floating around the mouths of children? My parents made sure I went to the dentist every six months and Dr Bellows from Knightsbridge was always impressed by my dental hygiene routine and sparkling smile.”

Mr Davies was questioned regarding a report in The Sun that claims he demanded that dentists check the latest group of refugees via an x-ray to determine their age.

“I didn’t think anyone still read The Sun,” a blushing Mr Davies said. “Well, it’s true isn’t it? Some of those supposed children have crow’s feet. Can you believe it? I mean I never have crows feet with my facial regimen. It’s important to exfoliate regularly and moisturise every day. These children should have smooth skin, not crow’s feet. After all, they’ve only been sitting about for months without a care in the world.

Tory MP Alec Shelbrooke concurred. “These children don’t even look like children. I’ve asked some of my paedophile friends and they don’t find them attractive at all. It makes a mockery of the situation.”