Rochdale Police Find ‘Lost’ Horse in semi rural area

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Reports from GMP Rochdale are somewhat vague to say the least, so the minimum we can assume from the information supplied is the horse is somewhere between the size of a cat and a dinosaur. It's definitely...

Spanish Armada weatherman in the drink after Michael Fish moment

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“Forecasting weather in Spain is easy.” Senor Dos explained, bobbing up and down on a piece of driftwood in the English Channel. “It’s always good.”
Man reading book

Man who only ever reads Jeremy Clarkson books outraged about Jane Austen appearing on...

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A Rochdale man who only ever reads books written by Jeremy Clarkson has voiced his anger about Jane Austen appearing on the new £10 note. 38 year old John Bull said, "It's a sign that...

Home Worker facing HR disciplinary hearing after sexually assaulting himself at work Christmas Party

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A home worker from Rochdale is facing a disciplinary hearing today after he allegedly sexually assaulted himself after getting drunk at his office Christmas "party". Stan Still, who works for a civil engineering company told...
Audi A5

Audi driver has above average sized penis

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There were scenes of disbelief in Rochdale today after a man who drives a convertible Audi A5 was found to be in possession of an above average sized penis. Derek Diggler, 35 and a bit,...

Rochdale woman in loo roll change shock

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet roll in the downstairs loo. "I couldn't believe my eyes." Barbara...

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all a bit of a fib, perhaps made up by Mr...

Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass

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Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and definitely not for the articles. The Guardian-reading father of two was...

UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface

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Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty McBoatface is now the second most popular boys name in...

Panic as rebel Corbynistas take West Didsbury

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Residents of the leafy south Manchester suburb of West Didsbury were forced to spit their skinny lattes out in shock this morning after the area was captured by radical Jeremy Corbyn supporters. Guerilla Corbynistas successfully...

Thousands come together for eye testing

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Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits. One attendee told us, "It's great to see so many people out testing their...
Woman and Cat

My cats are like my children, says woman whose cat raped stranger in bush...

A woman whose cats regularly rape strangers in bushes on nights out has insisted that her cats are like her children. Part time hairdresser Barbara Dickinson, 42 and a bit, insists that there is literally...

Miracle Declared As TK Maxx Customer Finds Acceptable Pair Of Jeans

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A TK Maxx customer in Rochdale has described his purchase of a pair of jeans that look acceptable and fit perfectly as “nothing short of a miracle.” Brian Jones, 39, found the jeans whilst...

SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble

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The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising The Southend News Network. Professor Bryan Cocks of Rochdale's Community University...

Rochdale woman who found Hitler’s face on slice of toast converts to Nazism

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A Rochdale woman who found Hitlers face in a slice of toast has revealed she's converted to Nazism. The woman's son said, "About a week after she found Hitlers face in the toast I went...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any sort by failing to find its collective arse with both...

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