Local News

Lancashire Police have urged the public to be vigilant today after a reputed sighting of a gigantic spider who breaks into homes to poke holes in sofa upholstery. Detectives are working with the RSPCA to...

Rochdale Borough Council have announced ambitious plans to enter into the selection process for European City of Culture 2020. Local councilor Peter Radcliffe believes the idea has captured the imagination of Rochdale. "The buzz is definitely...

Racists up and down the country have been shocked to learn that certain Arabic words like “Allah” and “Halal” actually translate into regular English words. The fact that Arabic is simply a foreign language, while...

While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time that week that he’d seen the exact same pigeon outside...

Traditional remedies, like bleeding and mercury, have proved ineffective. Complementary therapists have suggested vaccination, but have been dismissed by mothers who prefer their infants to die naturally rather than to become autistic church goers.

Rochdale man Martin Williams has spent today in his local pub attacking the 'Tory Death Tax'. Williams 48, told the Herald, "It's ridiculous. My mum and dad only live in a piddling little £500,000 house they bought...

“Forecasting weather in Spain is easy.” Senor Dos explained, bobbing up and down on a piece of driftwood in the English Channel. “It’s always good.”

Commuters were left stunned this morning when Londoner Harry Turner spontaneously burst into flames aboard a Manchester tram.  The tragedy occurred after he was forced to sing the Hokey Cokey by jovial tram driver Roy...

Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter blow last night; local internet subscribers were left floundering in...

Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints of Carling. Higglesworth, described in court as being of no fixed...

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God bothering pornography enthusiast, creative accountant, serial text pest and part-time...

The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated cases resulted in the death of sixteen members.  Problems seemed to...

A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.

Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone calls in contravention of the Communications Act 2003.   Mr McNood,...

The popular exhibition celebrating the life and work of the Lunts is due to return to Rochdale Central Library next week. Rochdale born couple Cybil and Alec Lunt are probably best known for their popular...