Local News

A local woman is said to be furious to discover that she isn't actually OCD. "I clean the floor and hoover the curtains three times a day!" Barbara Dickinson, a 47 year old bank teller...

Local man, Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed something or the other, believes he is one of the only people in the world to believe every conspiracy theory going.  Kelvin lives with his mum, Brenda, and...

A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a trolley collector at The Rochdale branch of Lidl until quitting...

Burnley Council has been forced to cancel its annual community Nativity Play for the 126th consecutive year in succession. After another exhaustive search of the Borough they were yet again unable to find three wise...

Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock. Mary Jayne Watson (31) from the Falinge estate was working what...

It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a series of decisions Simon has lived to regret, which have...

Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...

A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that originally bought it. The bottle has been gifted an estimated twelve...

The nation was in shock this afternoon after rumours began circulating that Ed Miliband had done something useful somewhere up North. "It can't be true." Maureen Liphook of Middleton Labour NEC told The Herald. "He's...

There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event. One eye witness said, "I knew something had gone wrong because my friend turned...

The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday morning on the British town of Burnley causing wide spread...

It has been confirmed by the company tasked with removing as many street trees from the streets of Sheffield as possible that bouncers have been hired to protect the tree fellers from the feral...

Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck. Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner Round The World'. The competition winner, 11 year old Glenlyce Hypervent...

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the back room. The incident occurred at around 4pm local time as...

A Rochdale man who failed GCSE Science has revealed he's an expert on pediatrics and specializes in treatments for Pneumonia. Bill Board loudly announced his expertise to surprised family members this morning over a...

Hundreds of Burnley schoolchildren are now aware of the existence of deodorant thanks to the recent playground craze. The craze involves spraying deodorant from a can onto bare skin until the recipient can no longer...