J K Rowling denies seven figure sum to write ‘President Trump and the White...
Other proposed titles in the series are, ‘Vladimir Putting and the Half Brained President’, ‘Donnie Trump and the Gob of Fire and Fury’, ‘President Trump and the Prisoner of Asshat’, ‘Donald Trump and the Magic Revolving Door of Power’ and ‘Donald in the Competition to be Crazier than North Korea’.
Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017.
Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.
He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time
President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour.
Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...
Civilised countries don’t gas civilians, they shoot them with AR-15s bought over counter at...
The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.
Responding to reports of an incident...
Downing Street Confirms Gibraltar To Be Closed Down
Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed.
With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at...
Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders
Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, "It's been...
Melania puts down deposit on $80 million one bedroom flat in Paris
The First Lady of the US has reportedly put an undisclosed deposit down on a small one bedroom flat worth $80,000,000 in the centre...
I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump
Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.
Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’
US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73
Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73.
Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...
Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
