Iain Duncan Smith appointed to North Korean Cabinet

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Within the last hour, the North Korean Central News Agency has confirmed the appointment of Iain Duncan Smith as its new ‘Secretary for the...

President Trump’s half-brother assassinated in Kuala Lumpur

In a shocking announcement from Malayasia, official sources have revealed that President Donald Trump's half-brother has been assassinated at Kuala Lumpur Airport. According to local TV reports, Mr...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes

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Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...

Trump Campaign Manager to be Replaced by Super Nanny

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In a twist to today's latest gaffe by Donald Trump, his campaign manager has resigned citing lack of experience on his part. Jo Frost,...

Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Gibraltar

Downing Street Confirms Gibraltar To Be Closed Down

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Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed. With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Donald Trump

Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...

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An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

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A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...

Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

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Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

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With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.

Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother

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After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother. The...

Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line

Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.  In a new bid to...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Redneck

Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man

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A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...

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