Within the last hour, the North Korean Central News Agency has confirmed the appointment of Iain Duncan Smith as its new ‘Secretary for the Distribution of the DPRK’s Wealth Amongst Its Beloved People’.
North Korean officials are believed to have first approached the pro-Brexit campaigner shortly after the EU referendum, with Duncan Smith finally accepting the post on Wednesday night when it became clear that his mission to fuck over the British people was finally complete.
Supreme leader Kim Jong Un is reported to have expressed admiration for the former Work and Pensions Secretary’s “ruthless justice” and “unbending commitment to the oppression of peoples unable to work for the benefit of the State.”
Duncan Smith’s responsibilities are thought to include oversight of rationing within prison camps, plans to extend the 24-hour working day and the development of methods used to assess people “embracing the Western Imperialists’ myth of ‘disability’.”
Following a tour of Pyongyang, Duncan Smith said he was “delighted” to finally be part of a “strong, unified party,” and expressed surprise at the lack of disabled people on the streets of the capital.
“I wonder what they DO with them all?” he was heard to mutter excitedly, a small erection faintly visible through his trousers.