America

The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci, has not just carried on where Sean Spicer left off,...

President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries volunteered to join it over the weekend. "TREVAL BAN NOW MERIT...

Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question "why do mass shootings happen over and over again?" At least seventeen children have been shot whilst...

Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of a meeting between a young Donald Trump and the drill...

Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed" by God as a spectacular Gay. The LGBT-hate preacher, who has...

DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”. This has been widely taken as a reference to the constant stream of...

US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties. The "Piñata National Service" will entail Mexicans attending parties every third weekend dressed...

Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as President of The United States of America, The Rochdale Herald...

Other proposed titles in the series are, ‘Vladimir Putting and the Half Brained President’, ‘Donnie Trump and the Gob of Fire and Fury’, ‘President Trump and the Prisoner of Asshat’, ‘Donald Trump and the Magic Revolving Door of Power’ and ‘Donald in the Competition to be Crazier than North Korea’.

American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists by listing loudmouth race hate rabble rouser Donald Trump in...

There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships. In a blow to the personal ambitions of both Sensei Trump and his teenage heart-throb...

President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials as T-Bone, was invited to the White House on Saturday...

Sean Spicer has put rumours to rest that Hawkish generals in the United States military are deploying military assets without Presidential authorisation. "Look I know it's been a shitty week for comparing stuff to Hitler...

The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The release of the puzzles is timed to capitalise on Trump’s...

Donald Trump's impeachment looked ever more certain in the last few days after images were released of him curtsying before King Salman of Saudi Arabia. As social media exploded with moving images of Donald using...

Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean Spicer’s replacement as press secretary. The resignation of Sean Spicer appears...