Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...

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Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not been American enough. An NRA spokesman said, "The most concerning...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man who recently won an election, “And his hair is shit!” Jesse...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

11
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course clubhouses, The Rochdale Herald can reveal exclusively that his Playboy...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said he would, in order to trick idiots into voting for...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

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As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support for Pinochet-a-like Donald Trump as he breaks orbit from the...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

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"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Donald Trump

New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal

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Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased Assault Rifles used in mass school shootings recently have just...

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr Obama was being very diplomatic in describing Donald Trump as...

Trump promises to help Puerto Ricans who present him with dry US birth certificates

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism of his failure to rush aid to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria by promising to help Puerto Ricans who can present him with a...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take place before the end of 2017. The Dead Kennedys (most famous...

Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”

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A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.

President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order

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American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists by listing loudmouth race hate rabble rouser Donald Trump in...

Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror

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US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a mirror. It is understood that White House staff were first alerted...
Trump voters deface police recruitment poster with Trump Sticker

Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers

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Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump. The multi-million pound recruitment drive in the book free town of Bumshart...
Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

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Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather unexpected election? "Well, Zsalty, I tell ya, I am walking in...
Scared Office Worker

Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci

2
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling everybody cocks. “He really likes the word, but he’s going to...

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