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Rochdale, UK

Brexit voter furious he can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he is...

Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Rochdale

Violent scenes erupt in Rochdale

Violent scenes today in Rochdale as the public demonstrated their extreme anger that Honey G remains in the X Factor, while genuinely talented people haven't bothered with the career ending puppet show. The violence was focused on...

Meet the UK’s First Islamic Lollipop Lady… And it’s not what you think

Meet veteran lollipop lady Gillian Duffy. Gillian has become an institution in Rochdale and one of the country’s most decorated and experienced lollipop ladies. For more than 30 years she has worked for the council escorting children across the road and now she has a new honour, she is the UK’s first Sharia Law compliant lollipop lady

Child taken from mother after being forced to live as a Tory

A seven-year-old boy from Rochdale who had been "living life entirely as a Tory" has been taken from his mother's care following a High Court judge's ruling. Mr Justice Borlax said the mother had caused...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to hospital yesterday. Sheffield Council is Labour controlled and Labour Councillor Podge...

Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed

Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were celebrating their freedom yesterday. Simeon Cramp and Calvin Hobbes, who frequently...

Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit

Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow doubted this given the list of reasons why he's unfit...

Christmas Miracle declared after BMW driver regains sight after parking in disabled spots

A Christmas Miracle has been declared after a disabled man was completely cured after parking his BMW across two handicapped parking bays at Rochdale Waitrose.

Homeless man turns life around after being told to ‘get a job’

53 year old Gulf war veteran, Ian Stapleton, had been living rough on the streets of Manchester for the last seven years. The heroic soldier ended up homeless and turned to alcohol after his marriage...

Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God bothering pornography enthusiast, creative accountant, serial text pest and part-time...

Sheffield councillors flummoxed By Spade and Pick Conundrum

Sheffield councillors visiting a street improvement site were utterly bamboozled when contractors lined up three spades against a wall and invited the councillors to 'take their pick'. Councillor Bryan Dodge, Cabinet  Member For Generating Profit...

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's trajectory. The news was first reported by California's Yackler Observatory...

Waterloo Road Grandma School Farce

A crisis has arisen in a Rochdale school after a Chinese whispers cock up of epic proportions went much further than any sane person could imagine. Not wanting to be left behind Rochdale Council jumped...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters gathered in central Manchester, joining many others in major cities...

Rochdale Twin Towns To Be Replaced Post-Brexit

In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed to be twinned with town within the European zone.  Rochdale has...

Rochdale man surprised he hasn’t “turned out okay”

Brian Bamford from Bamford got the shock news that "he hasn't turned out okay" after a neighbour called the police when she saw him chasing his screaming seven year old around his garden wielding...

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