If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Galloway Still Not Gone Away
Scotland's answer to Simon Danczuk, George Clementine Galloway, is inexplicably in the news again despite not being on Celebrity Big Brother.
The ex-Labour MP...
M1 & M6 become sentient
The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...
Trident finally put on Ebay
The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.
It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...
8,179 presents worth more than £61,400 bought for disadvantaged children
You guys are incredible. Less than twelve hours ago we learned through Angry People in Local Newspapers that the gift appeal for poor children...
Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another
Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another.
'I started...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule
The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds.
As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident
Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
Airlines grounded for Black Death containment
Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan.
Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
