Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Democracy to be redefined “betterthedevilyaknowocracy”
The linguistic and lexicogaphical boffins at Oxford and Cambridge have agreed that the term democracy needs to be scrapped and replaced with something more...
Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.
French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...
Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK
Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable.
The storm is already sweeping across the...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people.
One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs
A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access.
David...
Government Agrees Government Should Spy On You
After a thorough and totally independent investigation by the Government, the Government has found that it is indeed right for the Government to spy...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
8,179 presents worth more than £61,400 bought for disadvantaged children
You guys are incredible. Less than twelve hours ago we learned through Angry People in Local Newspapers that the gift appeal for poor children...
