Dinner party group

Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016

A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend. Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...

Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties

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MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...
New Year Eve Party

Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone

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Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit...

If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...

Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic

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US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

Conservative Party logo to be replaced with picture of Priti Patel’s smirk

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The Conservative Party are to replace their established 'oak tree' logo with a graphic representation of Priti Patel's smirking face, the Herald can reveal.   The...

Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”

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A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...

Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following...
Delivery Driver

Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels

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Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels. The news comes following the companies use...

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

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Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
Sadiq Khan

Sadiq Khan cracks down on junk food ads as thinner children harder to stab

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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts...

Beards officially still cool – says man with beard 

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It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years

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The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today. David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...

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