Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

9
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...
Brussels Cathedral

New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral

0
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief...
Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair

0
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
Queen and Philip

Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum

2
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
Meghan and Harry

Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

0
Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
Delivery Driver

Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels

0
Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels. The news comes following the companies use...

‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa

0
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

0
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...

M1 & M6 become sentient

The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...

Nigel Farage rumoured to replace Nigel Farage as UKIP leader

0
Nigel Farage's successor will be announced at UKIP's Bournemouth conference tomorrow but a party insider has let slip that his replacement will be Nigel...
Top Hats

Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup

0
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
Space Rocket

Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash

0
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash. The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...

Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”

1
The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us". The...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts