Government Agrees Government Should Spy On You
After a thorough and totally independent investigation by the Government, the Government has found that it is indeed right for the Government to spy...
Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media
There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services
A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...
Twats on train don’t know they’re twats
A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats.
The group, who...
Gavin Williamson declares war on schools
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary.
His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
Rochdale RHS Britain in Bloom judges catch a Bellsprout
Members of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) were visiting Rochdale this week as part of the judging of the North West in Bloom competition.
Each...
UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay
Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
Knob-head hand gesture at lowest levels since records began
A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the...
M1 & M6 become sentient
The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...
Burnley Lidl selling Father’s Day Cards in packs of five
With Father's Day fast approaching, supermarkets and stationary stores across the country are displaying cards and gifts for children to give to their father this Sunday. Burnley Lidl has raised a few eyebrows with its five card bundle offer.
4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
