“It was exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” says...
The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one...
Ecuadorian Ambassador contacts No. 10 “We are here if you need us”
The Ecuadorian embassy has reached out to 10 Downing Street from its Knightsbridge address to tell Ms May, "We are here if you need us".
The...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK
Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable.
The storm is already sweeping across the...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat
Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.
Officer Colin McNigelson told...
GCSE Results Spell Success for Dyslexic Pupils
Students at Maple Hayes Dyslexia Scool in Lichfield have been celebrating incredible GCSE exam success.
While many students couldn't read or write when they first...
There should be a free press like that Iranian TV channel I work for,...
Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward.
The...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo
Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...
UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website
The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site.
Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...
Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels
Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels.
The news comes following the companies use...
Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor
The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
