Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.
Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...
Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me
Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.
"I was...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen
One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...
Poll shows only 20% of American 7-year-olds believe in Donald Trump
A survey conducted by the Maryland Institute of Toddlerdom (MIT) yesterday proved that while 60 per cent of 7 year olds in the USA...
A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...
Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Spain v Russia VAR officials wives and children released from captivity
Members of the VAR officials team for the Russia V Spain game have been speaking of their joy at being reunited with their families again.
The...
Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth
Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
