Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary
The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...
Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
Internet user deliberately clicks on pop-over advert and makes history
A man from Bury in Lancashire has deliberately and purposefully clicked on a pop up ad that covered the entirety of the content he...
Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...
Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...
Airlines grounded for Black Death containment
Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan.
Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...
Beards officially still cool – says man with beard
It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...
Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...
That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...
Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo
Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...
Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children
Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
City Traders delighted to cash in on RBS free money Bonanza
The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...
