Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary
The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...
Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.
It's a...
Season your pets before leaving them in a hot car
do
With temperatures hitting 30°C across the nation, dog owners have been warned to pay special attention to their four legged friends.
Each year the RSPCA...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
Trump to produce new range of fragrances
Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes.
The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea
A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea.
The...
Airlines grounded for Black Death containment
Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan.
Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...
Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days
Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns
The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer.
In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay
Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a...
Brexit Party candidate apologises for not wearing poppy on his Nazi uniform
Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform.
Mr...
Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies
Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives.
The crowds...
Beards still cool, insists man with beard
As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales...
