Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

0
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils...

House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure

0
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...

If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...

Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...

Flag waving celebration of mythical empire shouldn’t be ruined by cheap politics

0
The Last Night at the Proms, an event where ex public school toffs wave the Union Flag in celebration of a completely made up...

Anger as Dominic Raab claims Hitler salute came from TV sitcom ‘Allo Allo!’

0
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a...
Delivery Driver

Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels

0
Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels. The news comes following the companies use...

Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair

0
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
London Marathon

Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another

0
Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started...

Entire Tory Party arrested in clampdown on middle class cocaine users

0
The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users. PC Drug-Bust...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

0
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...

Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone

A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...

Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea

A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea. The...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

0
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...

M1 & M6 become sentient

The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...

A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts