Boris Johnson gets into Christmas spirit by ordering massive census and slaughter of children
Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal
Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...
Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...
Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale
News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016
A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend.
Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me
Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.
"I was...
No binary education says May
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage
A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party...
Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up
The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal.
"We're...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”
A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.
The woman, 32...
Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police
Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption
In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment...
