Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo
Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...
Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers
Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus.
Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs
A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access.
David...
Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply.
Labour spokesman, Stan...
Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup
Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...
Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Prince Philip spends night lying on coat of arms on hospital floor
The ninety seven-year-old Duke of Edinburgh who has suspected flu was forced to sleep on a hospital treatment room floor because of a lack...
Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns
The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer.
In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...
