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The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance sheets. The hedge fund managers have been finding trading difficult in...

A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking military official from North Korea is visiting the US in...

The Women's Institute are lobbying  the Health Secretary demanding that Viagra only be available through prescription and after consultation with a Doctor. Recent changes bought in by the medical watchdog, MHRA, mean Viagra can now...

"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit stuffed then. George Osborne said, "She once bought pizza for us...

Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This report is totally inaccurate and does a disservice to honest,...

Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. The Mayor said "Almost 40 per...

Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the Road Planning Department. The audit showed serious discrepancies in key...

Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels. The news comes following the companies use of a Scottish cocaine delivery service as a consultancy. Spokesman, Cokey...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the Iranian Government anyway. In a speech a spokesman said, "Iraq, Syria,...

It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience. The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found to be experts in toxicology and analytical chemistry. Millions of people...

Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another. 'I started watching the Marathon and I don't know what came over...

The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today. David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the Herald exclusive news from the party. The day started with the...

A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'. Usually opting for an IPA, Guinness or Craft Beer, rather than a fruity cider,...

A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival. Despite there being music, dancing and drugs, insiders have confirmed that the lack of filth...

Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ. Handy little blighters, their ability to handle a piece of...

The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply. Labour spokesman, Stan Still said, "Under the Tories young people have increasingly been...