Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This report is totally inaccurate and does a disservice to honest,...

UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website

The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site. Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano in a whorehouse" rather than admit to his role in...

Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following last months decision to leave the EU by the British...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment motion to the State's...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place of their previous smash hit since losing the rights to...

Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky

A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils were caught out, the white stuff fell in amounts not...
Rochdale Primary School

Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play

Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its pupils to 'black up' for their annual play which this...
Celebrity Big Brother

Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019

Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house for the first time. The show, available ad nauseam on Channel...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics committee Stavros Davros gave his approval for a proposed Autumn...

Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’

A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'. Usually opting for an IPA, Guinness or Craft Beer, rather than a fruity cider,...

Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges

"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on Nigel Farage if the opportunity ever presents, Biff knows a...

Entire Tory Party arrested in clampdown on middle class cocaine users

The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users. PC Drug-Bust McGee told us, "We'd heard there was a huge gathering...
Christmas Giving

The Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 1,024 presents in first 24 hours

Yesterday we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network and Angry People in Local Papers to buy presents for children living in poverty...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...

‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look

After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more than a passing resemblance to his hero, Ken Dodd. "I got...
Surprised Santa

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 1,600 gifts bought in 48 hours

Two days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers, BFNN and Tuckered to buy presents for...

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