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Mayor plans to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, today announced a plan to ban junk food adverts from Transport for London. The Mayor said "Almost 40 per...

A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with 12 of his mates before heading out to get hammered...

Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf course or at the Polo, the only available topic of...

Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr Cushway aka Lord Pyre, bassist of the "Nazi vampire" themed...

The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a General Election he claims he does not want. "Look, it's just...

A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known in the country. Stan Dupp, a recruiment consultant from Harrogate, was...

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The Brexit Party leader has been credited for realising politics cud be mooved...

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from constantly going on completely free five star holidays all the...

Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in 40 years. Developers say the app was "not designed to undertake...

Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone has been pronouncing its name incorrectly. Long pronounced Keen-warh by people...

Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind, the Summer chart toppers blaring out through her car stereo. "It's...

HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got a membership at his golf club. The news follows the departure...

According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays and an ever extending transition period, defiant Brexiters have taken...

In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message. The victory follows the incredible shift in policy in the kingdom that has finally allowed women...

Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house for the first time. The show, available ad nauseam on Channel...

A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently. As councils were caught out, the white stuff fell in amounts not...