Sport

The journeyman striker was signed for an undisclosed amount, although it is "considerably more" than the previous record fee of forty Rothmans and a fish supper. Nuttall made his name playing in the Premier...

Senior members of the Huddersfield Town squad today confirmed that they have no concerns about promotion. “I took some advice about staying fit for top flight as an older player from David Batty’s wife...

The Rochdale Herald has discovered that Andy Murray's Mum still won't let him quit tennis club. "She promised me that if I won Wimbledon I wouldn't have to go anymore" said the moody British no.1...

The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last 10 years. Three-time Tour de France winner Chris Froome says he...

More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT back on silver polish. HMRC officials were alerted after after...

A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just the size" said knob measuring boffin Dr Klopp of Rochdale's...

The BBC have announced that John Inverdale will present a dog toy or sextoy game during rain delays at this year's Wimbledon championships.  The move comes amidst concerns that the BBC couldn't screen an impromptu Cliff Richard...

New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the European Parliament's Fair Trade Advocacy Office in conjunction with the...

It appears that politics will see a tornado of excitement and enthusiasm as Jeremy Corbyn is planning to bring in the current Arsenal manager to boost his election team. Despite the full backing of Arsenal...

It’s always been said that there’s more to yoga than the lotus position, but it has been revealed recently that the true aim is to become so supple as to be able to get...

British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the United Kingdom out the European Union. Sources close to the prime...

Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of Muirfield despite the club voting to admit women members. "I still...

Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand. Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's 61:21 tubbing at the hands of England Ms Sturgeon said; "It...

Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report released earlier this week. "Clearly this something that previous administrations have...

Snooker player Judd Trump has announced that he is to change his name by deed poll following a series of incidents whereby people saw his surname and associated him with SCROTUS Donald Trump. “It’s been...

The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches. The FA spokesman, Brian Crosse-Barre, 97, said, "After bets were placed on Sutton United's...