Religion

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the Messiah, but instead is 'a very naughty boy.' The announcement came...

A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like. Garry Bennett began his search 10 years ago after meeting a successful entrepreneur at...

There has been a wave of concern regarding universal access to healthcare across the United States after Donald Trump, Mike Pence and the GOP officially repealed Obamacare this week. "We have hereditary birth defects in my family, and...

Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group. "Look it's simple innit, evwywon nose dat U use Susie Salt to draw...

Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...

A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim, Rev. Roger Simpkins, was greeting a member of his congregation...

Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday. "I don't know why people keep calling it...

Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.

In a desperate attempt to justify religious persecution, a foaming bigot from Croydon has declared that Islam is a lifestyle choice and therefore fair game for criticism... and by criticism he means accusing all...

Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury. In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour party after quoting discredited historians and distributing anti-Semitic literature. Speaking to...

In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of the crucifixion. This will not be a new policy, it says,...

In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and enjoy a celestial paradise until the end of time. Until now,...

The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...