Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies
The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Only 23 days to save historic Christmas Deal, warn turkeys
Turkeys have declared that today there are only 23 days to save their historic Christmas deal.
They have warned that is vitally important that the...
Theresa May ready to deny TV debate ever took place
The BBC and ITV are to defy Conservative Party wishes and air live debates between participating parties before the upcoming June election.
An inside source...
Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.
Both leaders...
Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Rees-mogg to donate communion wafers to food banks to alleviate hunger with uplifting religious...
Community pressure group VFAC (Vegan Food Advocates for Catholicism) have reacted with dismay today to news that Jacob Rees-mogg MP has donated one tonne...
Anti-facemask campaigners in balaclavas thrilled about Austrian Burkha ban
In a welcome development for table thumping foam merchants from the far right, all face coverings have been banned in Austria.
For years, members far...
Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’
Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...
Blair and Farage to launch new political party together
The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release.
The party,...
Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show
Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...
Keep me out of the news says BoJo
A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...
Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position
As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.
So we...
Miley Cyrus to sue Boris Johnson for £350M over unauthorised cover of “Wrecking Ball”
The worlds of entertainment and politics appear to have combined this morning with the speculation that pop superstar Miley Cyrus is expected to sue...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck Corbyn tells press conference
Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap...
May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...
