Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol

0
Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
Theresa May

Whitehaven and Cumbria to Leave UK Launch of Cumbria Independence Party CUMFUK

0
Emboldened by her landslide victory in the Copeland By-Election, new MP Trudy Harrison has announced that she is leaving the Conservative Party to campaign...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

2
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
Ant and Dec

Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings

0
All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

0
Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

0
Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

0
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...

Happy Christmas to our Sovereign Parliament and readers

0
On behalf of the Daily Mail, we would like to wish all our readers a very Happy Christmas. Or if they don't celebrate Christmas,...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

0
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

0
Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom

0
David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

0
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

5
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

0
Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

Tommy Robinson claims full English ruined by brown sauce

67
Hate preacher Thomas “Tommy” Robinson (not his real name) has become terribly distraught at the presence of brown sauce in traditional English cafes. ...

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