Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

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Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...

Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting

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America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
David Davis

David Davis-Brexit Speech in full

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In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

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It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue...

Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

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Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

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Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...
Houses of Parliament

Sovereignty of Parliament is a bit over-rated, say Brexiters

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Pro-Brexit MP's have been rushing to congratulate Parliament on it's demonstration of democracy and parliamentary sovereignty today. A Government bill for Brexit was narrowly defeated...

HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

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Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

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Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...

Happy Christmas to our Sovereign Parliament and readers

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On behalf of the Daily Mail, we would like to wish all our readers a very Happy Christmas. Or if they don't celebrate Christmas,...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

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Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom

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David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...

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