What time is it Mr Woolfe?

0
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

10
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

1
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

0
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

0
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

0
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

81
It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet...

Sick Home Sec sacked?

0
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

0
Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...
David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

0
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
David Davis

Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration

0
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit. Cliff Edge told the...

Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians

0
Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians. 6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...

Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.

19
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late. Now the UK government has come up...

Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron

1
Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Plate of Mince

Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince

0
Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...

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