Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Stop being rebellious formerly rebellious Labour rebel tells rebellious Labour rebels
The formerly rebellious Labour rebel, Jeremy Corbyn, has told rebellious Labour rebels to stop being rebellious or else.
No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.
“We have...
We’re not racist we want fewer white Polish faces too, Brexiters tell Vince...
Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces.
Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Farage to become economic migrant.
Sources close to the MEP, would be ambassador and professional Admiral Ackbar lookalike Nigel Farage, say he is close to moving the the USA.
Apparently...
It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters
An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest.
The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
Leamington to become post Brexit English capital
The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...
CABINET RESHUFFLE – Boris Johnson becomes Health Secretary
Theresa May's eagerly anticipated cabinet reshuffle has begun.
In what some would describe as "a bit of a surprise", the former Mayor of London and...
Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
The...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations
Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath
Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...
This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...
Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting
America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
