New UKIP leader had hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I”m not a racist, but”...
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today by stating that UKIP’s new leader has undergone hypnotherapy to stop him saying...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course
President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...
Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding
The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester.
Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...
Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...
A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity
Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...
Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit
Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...
Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords
It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night.
The blow, sponsored by a rogue...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement
Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...
Corbyn sacks last of Shadow Cabinet who didn’t resign last year
In a shock move Friday Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn sacked all of his shadow ministers who didn't resign last year in protest at his...
Theresa May declares ‘sit down session’ with Trump a huge success
British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday declared her "sit down meeting" with newly elected US President Donald Trump to have been "a roaring success".
"He...
