Corbyn Calls for Alton Towers to be Nationalised as Queues for Rollercoaster hits 2...

0
Waiting for hours for the hope of a seat, crushed up against other in the park, or crouched uncomfortably in the queues is an...

Politicians human too. Balls!

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Speaking on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 this afternoon, Strictly Come Dancer Ed Balls made the outrageous claim that politicians are...

David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas

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A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...
Theresa May

Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

0
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail, in...
Michael Fallon on bus

Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...

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The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once. In...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

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Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Houses of Parliament

Lib Dems table bill to give each Leave voter bendy banana and note saying...

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MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled by Jo...
Secret Santa

Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa

0
We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers. Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

11
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...

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The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government. "He has to be gripped...
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

0
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...
Umunna

Paul Nuttall Has Chuka Umunna Running Scared for South London Seat

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Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4. Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP

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UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift

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Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...

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