Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

2
Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...
Rees Mogg

Height supremacists promise New World Order will be with us shortly

9
Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern...
Marmite

Britain to hold referendum to decide whether we love or hate Marmite

0
Referendum fan Nicola Sturgeon has announced plans for a controversial referendum to decide once and for all if Britain loves or hates Marmite.
Cherie Blair

Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth

0
Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War. Former Iraqi General Abdul...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

6
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

Corbyn says we’re going to build a wall and Sturgeon is keen to pay...

0
Communist rabble-rouser and socialist firebrand, Jeremy Corbyn, today announced the central plank of his party's manifesto pledge will be to build a wall between England...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

2
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...
Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

0
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...

Loud booing interrupted by Boris Johnson speech

0
Millions of viewers who tuned into a BBC broadcast of tens of thousands of people booing and hissing at Downing Street today were left...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

0
This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...

Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”

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Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

0
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Michael Fallon on bus

Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...

0
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once. In...
Jeremy Corbyn

Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people

35
Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

4
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Lib Dems form armed wing in desperate bid to remain relevant

0
The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some...

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