DUP explains kneecapping naughtier than running through wheat field
Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol
Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish
Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...
Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...
I’m President of what? Asks Donald Trump
After the shock of winning the popularity contest "President Factor", President elect Trump has now talked about his next career move. We asked him...
Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Tory superbug found in pigs
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.
Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the...
Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry
Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas
A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...
