Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

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Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...

Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.

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With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

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Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

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The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
Farage in Russian hat

Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium

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Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.  The news was...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

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A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...

Corbyn press relationship hits the buffers following Traingate 

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Jeremy Corbyn had an uncomfortable day today as he was asked a series of questions by journalists after being caught bullshitting about the state...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

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A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

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UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Theresa May

Theresa May thrilled that Russia thinks she’s competent enough to stage poisoning

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Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her...

Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child

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The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...

Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident

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Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...

Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles

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The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...

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