Michael Fallon on bus

Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...

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The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once. In...
Teenager

Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120

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Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

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Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...
man with money

Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced

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Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...

Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP

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Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.
Umunna

Paul Nuttall Has Chuka Umunna Running Scared for South London Seat

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Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4. Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally...
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

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Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...

Theresa May wins ‘Person Most Surprised Theresa May is Prime Minister’ Award seventh week...

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Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister...

US to build lots of walls around Mexicans in US.

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Donald Trump has confirmed that the building of the Mexican wall will go ahead and has given further details of its construction.  Rather than trying...
Westminster

Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker

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The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Tracey Crouch

New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster

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Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

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The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

New UKIP leader already third longest serving leader after both Nigel Farages

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Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...
Wetherspoons

Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons

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Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

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The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

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