HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

0
Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

0
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Theresa May Converse

Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote

0
Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...

MP’s take well deserved autumn break after sorting out all UK’s problems

0
Westminster is demob happy today as hundreds of MPs pack their bags and await their family’s driver to come and collect them for half...

It’s not my fault there aren’t enough Marxists to win a by election insists...

0
Following Labour's disastrous defeat in The Copeland by-election Jeremy Corbyn has responded to criticisms of his leadership of The Labour Party by assuring everybody it has nothing to do with his politics or his leadership.
eraser

Liberal Metropolitan Elite plan to rig election goes awry when Hermes deliver rubbers to...

0
The Liberal Metropolitan Elite was reeling last night when a delivery of 2 million rubbers was delivered to the wrong address. The Elite were allegedly planning...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

6
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

0
Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...

Conservatives to shoot badgers until Henry VIII powers allow them to hunt with dogs...

3
Conservative MP George Eustice was allegedly out celebrating at a champagne breakfast this morning after deciding to kill a lot more badgers in order...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

0
A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...
Supreme Court

Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court

0
The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

0
Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

0
Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...
Theresa May

Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister

2
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

0
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

14
Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

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