Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age

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Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...

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Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

We’re just going to f**king do Brexit, you lot look after yourselves May tells...

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The Prime Minister shocked the country today by forcing a kindly old lady in a blue and yellow hat that looked like an EU...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...

UK threaten Russia with voting Nul Points at Eurovision

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In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on...
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

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It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbo makes his ex Home Secretary

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Jeremy Corbyn has appointed Diane Abbott as Home Secretary, placing her opposite Amber Rudd on the shadow front bench. "We want someone who represents the...

Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion

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Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...

Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP

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UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...
Theresa May

Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview

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Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.

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