Theresa May thrilled that Russia thinks she’s competent enough to stage poisoning
Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Theresa May sanctioned by ATOS for missing Woman’s Hour Interview
The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row.
The soon to be...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car
Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today.
David "What Am I...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch
Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...
Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting.
Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...
Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit
Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
Leaked Conservative manifesto just 5 pages of “lets get Brexit done” written in Russian
With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas
The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...
Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
