Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth
Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War.
Former Iraqi General Abdul...
Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...
Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...
Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia.
The foreign secretary said...
Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
I’m President of what? Asks Donald Trump
After the shock of winning the popularity contest "President Factor", President elect Trump has now talked about his next career move. We asked him...
If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris
Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger
What’s your favourite type of monger?
Picture him:
Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...
DWP declared May’s vocal cords fit for work
The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness.
In...
Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse
Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Definitely No Corruption at polls
Donald Trump has made a statement after his victory at the polls that he categorically believes there is no way there was any corruption...
Politician was my second choice, I really wanted to be a maths teacher admits...
Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a...
Brutus advises senators to get behind Caesar
Marcus Brutus has urged the Roman senate to show support for their leader Julius Caesar.
Addressing the press at a conference outside the Senate, he...
