Politics

The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again. Nigel Prism-Fidget, head of IT for Conservative Party Central Office, confirmed...

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

An email leaked to the Independent has revealed that billionaire Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson (MBE OBE BFD) is to bankroll Lord Sir Tony of Blair's new leftish wing political party and campaign group...

Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by Three Women" will almost certainly feature Donald Trump taking a...

Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I was rather enjoying retirement,” Mr Farage guffawed disarmingly, “spending more...

People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year. “It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I can’t believe people are still having opinions that differ from...

Nigel Farage joined the Ku Klux Klan and Neo Nazis across America to praise Donald Trump's choice of alt-right Breitbart propagandist Steve Bannon today. "He's my kind of chap" said Nigel Farage with neither a...

One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving the EU. Rochdale has held the official European 'Arsehole' title for...

Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the bleedin' obvious. Mr Hancock explained that "it is likely to be...

Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation. In fact, so ready is he to debase himself in public he’s likely to challenge Jeremy...

Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they visit their local food bank, according to a new proposal. The...

Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government swiftly unveiled plans to begin construction work on Rockall to...

The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit. It's believed that by putting a...

 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of Dame Lowell Goddard, who didn't have the balls to turn...