DUP explains kneecapping naughtier than running through wheat field
Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority...
Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”
Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done."
"We've been...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election
After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...
May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans
Come and have a go if you think your armada enough
After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose
It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said
"She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...
U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth
Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War.
Former Iraqi General Abdul...
Jeremy Corbyn threatens to remove ISIS leaders from Christmas Card List
Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott have taken the bold step to thoroughly condemn the actions of ISIS supporters this week and are preparing to...
Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street
UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory.
After visiting Her...
Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall
Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...
