Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

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LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...

That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan

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His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement: "I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...

What do people need money for? Asks man wearing suit borrowed from tramp

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A man wearing a suit borrowed from a hobo went on national radio yesterday to suggest people should only be allowed to earn a maximum amount of money.

Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet

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Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.  It comes after a series...
Corbyn Shape The Future

Labour leader confirms that he has a plan to break the country as well...

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Jeremy Corbyn has closed this year’s Labour conference with a rousing speech to his Corbynista fans explaining his plans for an entirely fictitious and...
Theresa May

May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister

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Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...

Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.

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The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus. Having been tested for Coronavirus on...

President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit

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Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...

I said ‘sack my cook & hold my calls’ says MP accused of sexual...

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Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a...

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

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This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...

Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes

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Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month. The Home Office has also announced that all...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

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Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

Farage told get in the sea,  takes it literally

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Serial resigner and privately educated millionaire ex banker, Nigel Farage, self proclaimed 'man of the people' was told to "get in the sea" by...

Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands

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While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

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Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...

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