Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

1
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...
Michael Gove

Gove is still bonkers, say experts

0
Michael Gove decided to stand up for those whose lack of self awareness is pathological today.
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

0
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais

0
British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...

Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP

0
Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.

British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit

0
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...

Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism

0
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

0
In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

1
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

0
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

0
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Tracey Crouch

New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster

0
Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

0
A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...
Theresa May

Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM

18
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me? “When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday. “Maybe it was that Lord...
Science Class

DUP pushes to rename school classes in ‘Science’ as ‘Magic’

0
There has been a legion of support for the move though, as it would spark pupil’s interest in the subject of science again.

Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

8
President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...

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