US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

1
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

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South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Boris Johnson

Keep me out of the news says BoJo

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A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

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The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...

Monster Raving Looney Party rejects Douglas Carswell for being TOO weird

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Having survived a terror attack last Thursday the British parliament has been delivered another shock with the news that the Official Monster Raving Loony...
Confusion

Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals

8
Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...

Jacob Rees-Mogg completely opposed to jazz music and women in trousers under any circumstances

135
During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant...

Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident

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Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...

BREAKING NEWS!!! Supreme Court Rule 6 to 5 in Favour of Parliament Vote on...

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In the last few minutes the Supreme Court have voted 6 to 5 in favour of Parliament having the final say on Brexit. Rochdale urban...

Uncovered: The Secretive Unelected Group That Controls Our Future

1
The Rochdale Herald has uncovered a secretive, unelected group of conspirators who control the destiny of the UK.  The powerful group, known as 'The Electorate'...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Nice Nurse Senior Patient

Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...

5
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

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Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...

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