Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
corbyn

Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party

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The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party. Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

18
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...

Yes Prime Minister explains the Trident Vote

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe. Jim Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.  Sir Humphrey:...
Theresa May

Argos refuse to exchange or refund anymore Theresa May-bots

1
Shoppers in the UK were shocked by a press release this morning from popular retailer Argos, who state they will not exchange or refund...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...

Corbyn hospitalised after collapse

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Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .  The incident occurred just moments after...
Theresa May

Prime minister says, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I’m doing it all on...

12
The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on...

Picture yourself in their shoes

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A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...

Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans

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A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed. The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...
Theresa May

Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...

20
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Theresa may Trump

Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador

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The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...

Not enough evidence to convict Danczuk of rape says CPS

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The Crown Prosecution Service has declined to prosecute Simon "Shagger" Danczuk on the basis that they are not confident they will secure a conviction.
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...
Amazon

Amazon reports increase in sales of knives and sharpeners in run-up to Conference Season

2
Politicians up and down the country have been inundating Amazon with orders for back-stabbing knives, hatchets, whetstones and sharpening steels as they ready themselves...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

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