Marmite

Britain to hold referendum to decide whether we love or hate Marmite

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Referendum fan Nicola Sturgeon has announced plans for a controversial referendum to decide once and for all if Britain loves or hates Marmite.

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

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Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....

UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...

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The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...

Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas

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The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...

HS2 to be built by immigrants

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The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct  HS2. Prospective workers...

Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit

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In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

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The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

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Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Wetherspoons

Move classrooms into pubs, says government

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After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
Arron Banks

UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood

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Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan." The historian and...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

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Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...

Chequers agreement shreds itself

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Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out...

David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian

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Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian. Cameron made the shock admission during an...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...

Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama

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Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.

Corbyn hospitalised after collapse

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Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .  The incident occurred just moments after...

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