Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee

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The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences. "It's an outrage!" stated...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

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In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

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The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...

Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech

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Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Big Ben EU UK

Theresa May says Britain and Europe should come together as if in some sort...

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Theresa May has been further outlining her vision for Brexit. The Prime Minister was speaking to journalists on her way home from Florence. She told...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

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Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...

Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit

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Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

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Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Badgers

Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs

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Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull. The...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name

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The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....

Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

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Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.

OED to honour Nigel Farage with his own word – A farage

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Following the failure of a parliamentary motion to ennoble seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage with a peerage or a knighthood, the Oxford English...
Amber Rudd

One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat

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Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...

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