Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks
Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks.
It's believed Theresa May made...
Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord...
Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free
Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will...
Skeletor still ‘pretty buff’ for a skeleton
Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding
Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...
Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke
Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke.
"Everything was looking good,...
Labour NEC can take your money and run – rules court of appeal
The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out...
Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies
The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once.
In...
Theresa May to meet voters to tell them to fuck off in person
The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least...
Corbyn vows to walk to Brussels to get best Brexit deal
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is...
Trump and Putin plan the partition of Poland
It’s been revealed that American President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladamir Putin have agreed to partition Poland between their two countries.
Both leaders...
Trump publishes ‘first 100 days’ Manifesto
President Trump is set to to release a Manifesto on his first 100 in days in office on the eve of his inauguration, a...
