Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

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Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...

EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…

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Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

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Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

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Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

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Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

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Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

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SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

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There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...
Furous Court

Man who voted for supremacy of British court furious about supremacy of British court

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Brexit Campaigner Michael Gove was today looking for a new Court to be in charge of British Sovereignty as the one we have “seems to be no better than the last bunch”
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

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A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...

Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

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Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...
Old people

Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election

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After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...

British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...

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Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...

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