Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
High Court allows Royal Prerogative to execute Daily Mail editor for treason
In a bold move the UK judiciary has ruled to suspend Parliamentary Sovereignty to allow the UK Government to use the Royal Prerogative to round up and chop the heads off the editors of The Daily Mail, The Daily Express and The Sun.
UK Government leads world in stable door shutting contest
The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted...
Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act.
The tech boffin was asked...
Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit
The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president.
These include a...
Theresa May reveals plans for future funding cuts.
Theresa May faced the press this week in a hope to clarify future government spending. In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald she...
Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power
The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...
Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals
Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Theresa May accused of muttering in parliament “fuck em, let em starve”
Theresa May was accused of muttering the words "fuck em, let em starve" in parliament on Wednesday.
May appeared to mutter the words during a...
Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women
Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally.
The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
