Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement
Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...
Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s
Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal".
All the...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive
New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120
Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Satan refuses cabinet position in reshuffle
In a surprising turn of events Satan has declined an offer to join Theresa May's new cabinet saying it would be "damaging" to his reputation.
Farron u-turns and joins coalition after McDonnell says he’ll let him sip his beer
"A coalition? No absolutely not we will not do it" said Tim Farron, earlier today at the Westminster bar.
However, moments later the Liberal Democrat...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result.
A staggering...
Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...
Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump
Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Man who voted for supremacy of British court furious about supremacy of British court
Brexit Campaigner Michael Gove was today looking for a new Court to be in charge of British Sovereignty as the one we have “seems to be no better than the last bunch”
Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name
The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables.
It no longer...
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
