Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off

6
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity. It's believed...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

0
Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...
Michael Gove

Gove is still bonkers, say experts

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Michael Gove decided to stand up for those whose lack of self awareness is pathological today.
David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

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It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

3
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...
Badgers

Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs

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Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull. The...

Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic

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After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices

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Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...

Ken Livingstone backs down over Nazi Zionism claims

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Ken Livingstone has backed down over his claims that Hitler and the Nazis once supported the cause of Zionism- the aim of establishing and...
Lego

Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’

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Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were...

Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA

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Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime. Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

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The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

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Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.

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