Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children
Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...
May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson
In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers
Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own.
Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...
May to ‘Rasta’ it up
In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel...
Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Crackdown on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles leaves only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...
A crackdown today on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles by Facebook and other social media platforms has left only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...
Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE
Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.
I meant Hindenburg Disaster not Hillsborough Says Nuttall
Paul Nuttall has sought to lay to rest the controversy over his claims to have been present at the Hillsborough disaster, initially by explaining...
Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank.
Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens
Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish".
As finger after taloned finger...
Brexit racists OUTRAGED by Labour’s custom made betrayal
News broke over the weekend of a shocking Brexit betrayal by the weak Labour leadership that has seen Brexit racists OUTRAGED.
Keir Starmer, never one...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party
After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure.
The Tory Party has long...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
