Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Hang the Tories

Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...

0
A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson makes it perfectly clear that he doesn’t know his R’s from his...

0
  In an historic address to the nation this evening, People's Supremo Boris 'BloJo' Johnson outlined the roadmap back to the new normality that opposition...

Paul Nuttall denies lying about surviving the sinking of the Titanic

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UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April...

Rees-mogg to donate communion wafers to food banks to alleviate hunger with uplifting religious...

0
Community pressure group VFAC (Vegan Food Advocates for Catholicism) have reacted with dismay today to news that Jacob Rees-mogg MP has donated one tonne...
Pepe the frog

Meme Jihadis Trump Clinton

0
Pepe the frog has admitted today that he was behind the success of Donald Trump in the recent US presidential elections. "Presidential? Fix-a-dential more like!...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

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The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

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There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
Hungry

Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old

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In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects. "Will I...

Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

3
Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper...

Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party

7
Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I...

First man to read entire Maastricht Treaty declares it “A Bugger’s Muddle”

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A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

2
Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

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Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

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