David Davis

Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU

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It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.

Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.

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With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Donald Trump ends democracy in America

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I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

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David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...

Rees-mogg to donate communion wafers to food banks to alleviate hunger with uplifting religious...

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Community pressure group VFAC (Vegan Food Advocates for Catholicism) have reacted with dismay today to news that Jacob Rees-mogg MP has donated one tonne...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

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The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

May rains on International Happiness Day with Brexit announcement

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March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century. However there...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...

Labour NEC can take your money and run – rules court of appeal

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The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out...

DWP declared May’s vocal cords fit for work

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The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness. In...

Momentum Youth Wing nothing like Hitler Youth, insist Momentum

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The new Momentum Youth Wing that has been proposed will be nothing like the Hitler Youth Momentum and Corbyn are insisting. "Well obviously they're nothing...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

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UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands

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While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

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Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...

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