Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

6
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

0
Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

Crackdown on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles leaves only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...

0
A crackdown today on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles by Facebook and other social media platforms has left only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

6
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists...
Titanic

Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’

0
Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old...
Marine Le Pen

Le Pen assures voters that despite National Front name change they are still massive...

0
In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine...

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

0
SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus

1
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus. "It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike" Smith drew...
NewsThump

Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act

0
Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act. The tech boffin was asked...

Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

0
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...
We're all going to die

We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond

0
Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...

Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low

0
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

0
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

0
It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

6
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...

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