UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...
The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers
A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
Satan refuses cabinet position in reshuffle
In a surprising turn of events Satan has declined an offer to join Theresa May's new cabinet saying it would be "damaging" to his reputation.
IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS.
The order was placed...
Labour tops FB polls as Conservative voters are busy working for a living
Labour tops Facebook election polls up and down the country as all the Conservative voters are too busy out working for a living to participate...
Farage To Sell Knighthood
Sir Nigel Farage surprised many in the realm this morning when he put his newly acquired knighthood up for sale on eBay.
"I was going...
Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations
The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...
Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’
In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying;
"Everything I...
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout
ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”
Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...
Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off.
"I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
