Keith Vaz to chair Parliamentary Select Committee for online porn regulation

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News is reaching us from the House of Commons that Keith Vaz has been selected to chair the online porn regulation select committee. It is thought he...
EU

EU condemns punchy politics

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After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour. Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...
Blue Passport

A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...

10
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

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Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

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After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...

Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War

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Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

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Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

18
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

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Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Theresa May Converse

Theresa May won’t let Brit Gas 12.5% price hike ruin her hiking holiday

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What could be scarier than millions of ageing Brexit backers being hit with a massive energy bill increase right when May's taking enough heat trying to turn her policy fantasies into reality? And especially when she's previously mentioned an energy price cap but now doesn't really want to talk about it again in case she has to do something.
Donald Trump

Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats

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Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

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Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.
Theresa May

One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, insists Theresa May

6
Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister...
Man on Toilet

Theresa May accuses Corbyn of using ‘Fake Poos’ to attack the Government and damage...

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A damning Government report, and therefore it's Theresa May saying it, has accused men, and therefore by inclusion Jeremy Corbyn, of using Fake Poos to attack...

Farage to Play Farage in “Brexit the movie”

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Spielberg declined to outline the full plot of "Brexit" but did confirm that it would involve a number of "dream sequences" in which Farage wrestles and kills a great white shark, unearths the ark of the covenant, liberates Auschwitz, clones dinosaurs and rescues an American soldier trapped behind German lines in world war two France.

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