Boris Johnson

Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge

0
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...

Gavin Williamson declares war on schools

0
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

0
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

0
Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

Senior Brexiter demands white York roses repainted Tudor rose for sake of national unity

0
A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake...

Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron

1
Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

3
President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...
Raining Money

FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal

0
The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

0
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Wetherspoons

Move classrooms into pubs, says government

0
After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...

Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

0
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...

Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...

0
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!

What time is it Mr Woolfe?

0
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...

Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less

0
In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less. Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...

Lord Voldemort refuses to compare himself to any character in The Conservative Party

Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts