Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...
It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Watson Denies Corbyn Car Crash Rumours
Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Tom Watson, has denied rumours that recent focus groups conducted by the party to determine popularity of alternative leaders involved simulated car accidents in which Jeremy Corbyn was involved in hit and run incidents.
Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...
Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...
Homes burning down better than house prices going down say Kensington Council
Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week.
The council's...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit
Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
Stop being rebellious formerly rebellious Labour rebel tells rebellious Labour rebels
The formerly rebellious Labour rebel, Jeremy Corbyn, has told rebellious Labour rebels to stop being rebellious or else.
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
UKIP Conference cancelled due to Tory success
The annual gathering of UKIP, scheduled for 16th September, will now not go ahead reports say.
"We have been watching the racism and general xenophobia...
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
First man to read entire Maastricht Treaty declares it “A Bugger’s Muddle”
A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.
PARENT’S FURY AT COMPULSORY ARABIC LESSONS AT ROCHDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL
Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons.
Many parents believe that forcing their children...
Theresa May Reacts Angrily To Snowden Sith Slur
Edward Snowden, the famous whistle-blower and internet freedom campaigner, has angered unelected PM Theresa May (or May not but she's not going to give...
