There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test
Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.
A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...
Parliament summoned for cross party reshuffle
An emergency cross party parliamentary meeting has been organised for 1:00pm today to try and resolve our broken political system.
With the Tories fighting each...
Britain First’s meme maker in coma
As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox
Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...
Letter F dies of embarrassment during conference speech
Paramedics and specialists in typesetting were seen rushing to the site of a terrifying incident at the Conservative Party conference in Manchester earlier in...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the...
What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny
Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
£1.3 billion Cameron scheme a failure
A scheme launched in 2012 by Cameron's government as a response to the 2011 riots has been an unmitigated failure, according to a report...
Gavin Williamson declares war on schools
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary.
His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...
A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...
Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.
Homes burning down better than house prices going down say Kensington Council
Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week.
The council's...
