Brexit transition period ends when the EU says it ends, says Philip Hammond
The Chancellor Philip Hammond offered much needed clarity on the government's Brexit project today, by confirming it will enter a transition period which will...
Country takes pity on Ginger Labour MP
After Labour MP Jared O’Mara had his sexual fantasies broadcast for all to see, the entire country has donated to a crowdfunding page to...
UK threaten Russia with voting Nul Points at Eurovision
In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Put lipstick on a pig and it’s still an attractive pig says David Cameron
Embarrassed confusion reigned over the little Cotswold village of Slapstick-cum-Quickly as local resident David Cameron joined a misheard conversation and totally got the wrong...
Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim
Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...
A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Tooth Fairy tax fully costs Tory manifesto
Humbled by her failed election gambit Theresa May today announced a new policy to resolve the social care funding crisis which torpedoed her election...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
Asda Self-service checkout till beats Boris Johnson at Scrabble
Scientists from Rochdale College have developed an artificially intelligent self service till that beat Boris Johnson at Scrabble.
Dr Frederick Seddon said, "We were wanting...
Corbyn Backs May In Commons Vote Again
"I'm sure I can remember one, if you just give me a minute." Jeremy Corbyn replied this afternoon, following the Commons vote to call...
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm.
In another in a...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
