Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

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Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Ant and Dec

Failure To Recognise Ant And Dec Improves Corbyn’s Ratings

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All the hard political questions have now been thrown at Jeremy Corbyn and Owen Smith in their hustings, including asking if they recognised Ant...

US to build lots of walls around Mexicans in US.

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Donald Trump has confirmed that the building of the Mexican wall will go ahead and has given further details of its construction.  Rather than trying...

Blairite Entryism Not A Big Deal, Insist Blairites

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It was revealed today that a Blairite peer, a hedge fund manager, several rich business types and a Liberal Democrat Lord were behind the...

Companies forced to list massively racist employees

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British companies are to be made to publish lists of how many employees are nasty and racist, under new plans announced by home secretary...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

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After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...
Furous Court

Man who voted for supremacy of British court furious about supremacy of British court

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Brexit Campaigner Michael Gove was today looking for a new Court to be in charge of British Sovereignty as the one we have “seems to be no better than the last bunch”

I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump

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Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.

Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban

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International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...

CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud

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Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...

Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat

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There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
NewsThump

Rochdale IT Worker Deletes Human Rights Act

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Albert Fudge, a Rochdale based web designer employed by the Conservative Party- has accidentally deleted the European Human Rights Act. The tech boffin was asked...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...

Prime Minister Theresa May autobiography to be made into a feature film

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Footloose 2 will follow the adventures of a band of feisty teens who live in a town where dancing on Sundays is against...
Trump

Definitely No Corruption at polls

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Donald Trump has made a statement after his victory at the polls that he categorically believes there is no way there was any corruption...

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