Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

0
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...

EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…

0
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian

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Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian. Cameron made the shock admission during an...

Labour tops FB polls as Conservative voters are busy working for a living

0
Labour tops Facebook election polls up and down the country as all the Conservative voters are too busy out working for a living to participate...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

6
Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...
Dartboard

UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard

0
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

New Far Right Perfume Released.

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In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
Michael Fallon on bus

Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...

0
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once. In...

Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament

0
Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell.  £118 million has been...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

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Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...

Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch

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Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

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Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

114
Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...

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