Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

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A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

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Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

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The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

We must stick to our principles, says woman not sticking to her principles

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Former Remain campaigner and comedy Prime Minister impersonator Theresa May told the British people that it's really important to stick to your principles shortly...

Trump in Mexican standoff

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Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.  Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

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US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...
Pork Scratchings

Relief as far-right mob turns out to be burst bag of pork scratchings

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Police have attended an incident in Rochdale today after numerous concerned calls reported a far-right mob assembled in the town centre. Attending officers would like...

Farron u-turns and joins coalition after McDonnell says he’ll let him sip his beer

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"A coalition? No absolutely not we will not do it" said Tim Farron, earlier today at the Westminster bar. However, moments later the Liberal Democrat...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

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News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...
Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

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British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...
Theresa May

Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

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After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail, in...

Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn

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White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was...

Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019

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Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
Hide an Seek

Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy

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Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition. "It was an incredible effort from...

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