Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name

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The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer...

Only 23 days to save historic Christmas Deal, warn turkeys

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Turkeys have declared that today there are only 23 days to save their historic Christmas deal. They have warned that is vitally important that the...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

1
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...
Teenager

Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120

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Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Denis Skinner

Labour foreign policy just Dennis Skinner with a cricket bat

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Jeremy Corbyn's anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs. "He'll lie down and let anyone who wants to do...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong

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MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him. The angry parliamentary member...
Trump

Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns

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Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.

Daily Express reveal AIDS originally created by Corbyn as anti-Tory bio-weapon

6
Ground-breaking new research by Daily Express reveals Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, created a modern day plague in league with the IRA As we all know,...

Jimmy Young “Masterminded Thatcherism” says Released Documents

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In documents now only released after his death Jimmy Young has been revealed as the Mastermind behind the social & economic policies of Margaret Thatcher.

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

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Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

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Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Russians

Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...

In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless

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Albion; pleasant, fair and green In the year of our Lord, 2020 Dragons were few and seldom seen, Yet poor folk were a plenty   Though dragons were vanquished...

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