Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord...
Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts
Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.
The Colonel, wearing a...
Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit
British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Michael Gove says Brexit is “like a box of chocolates…”
The Brexit negotiations have been tentative, at best, with British MPs doing their darndest not to get absolutely battered in the process. Unfortunately, Britain’s...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy
Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...
Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation
After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...
Unelected man demands unelected woman suspends elected parliament
As was inevitable, faced with the likelihood of action being taken through the mechanisms of the British sovereign parliament to avert a no-deal Brexit,...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon
SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...
Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...
Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.
