UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP

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Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...
Government

Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...

1
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Brown bear in woods

Smith Reveals Bears have secret plan.

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In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier...

Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded

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Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.

Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine

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After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road." His...

Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

4
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The...

New UKIP leader having hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I’m not a racist, but”...

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UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today but stating that UKIP’s new leader is undergoing hypnotherapy to stop him saying...

Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS

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Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
David Cameron

People in Shock as Cameron steps down as MP because nobody knew he was...

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Ex Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced he will quit his role as an MP, which has surprised almost everybody as we'd all...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...

If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker

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Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

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UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

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