Nice Nurse Senior Patient

Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...

5
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Homeless

Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways

0
Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today. As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches...

Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist

0
Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.

Lib Dems form armed wing in desperate bid to remain relevant

0
The Liberal Democrats have announced the creation of an ‘armed wing’ in what commentators are interpreting as a last ditch attempt to have some...

Theresa May speaks to Herald – exclusive!

6
The Prime Minister has faced many difficulties over the past weeks - Brexit, terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, a poor election showing and...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

0
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
Theresa May

Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...

0
George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...
Angry Toddler

Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations

0
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
Plate of Mince

Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince

0
Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

0
An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse

0
Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Campaign to buy McDonnell new calculator raises £65,000,000

0
The public have rallied behind calls from Robert Chote, the Chairman of The Office for Budget Resposibility to buy The Shadow Chancellor, John McDonnell, a new calculator.
riot

Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time

11
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

1
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

46
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Iceberg

Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership

5
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU. A hastily formed government led by...

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