Government

Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...

1
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

8
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Theresa May

Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...

0
George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson feared dead?

3
Rumours are rife today that the comical floppy haired Brexit buffoon Boris Johnson may have popped his clogs. It's been weeks now since he has...
Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

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Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

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This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

0
Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...

New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale

0
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Corbyn Wagon Wheels

Corbyn pledges to end Syrian War with tea and a Wagon Wheel

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Jeremy Corbyn has today promised to end the bloody civil war that has plagued Syria for the last 4 years with nothing but good...

Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party

7
Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I...
Christmas Morning

Only two prime ministers till Christmas

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Children around the UK were feeling giddy this morning after learning that it's now officially on two prime ministers until Christmas morning. "I can almost...
Brick Wall

Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall

18
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Guy Fawkes

Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime

8
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...

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