Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.

19
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late. Now the UK government has come up...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

0
A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...
Russians

Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

0
British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

0
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Hungry

Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old

0
In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects. "Will I...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

0
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

Tony Blair on the shortlist for Nobel Peace Prize

12
Former Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton "Tony" Blair has been spotted on this year's Nobel Peace Prize shortlist. Famous for his support of fun loving...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

0
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

8
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

0
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...
Blue Passport

Passports to be made in France as British firm De La Rue ruled out...

0
Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

8
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...
Tesco Express

Lib Dem election breakthrough as Tim Farron recognised in Tesco Express

The Liberal Democrats are said to be heartened by the progress they've made in this election campaign after reports that a member of the...

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

0
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...

Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.

30
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...

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