DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse
The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...
Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show
Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Only two prime ministers till Christmas
Children around the UK were feeling giddy this morning after learning that it's now officially on two prime ministers until Christmas morning.
"I can almost...
Get fit and beat inflation with subsistence farming and foraging, Top Tory tells poor
Tory ministers are expected to announce a three part plan to tackle obesity and food inflation later this week.
TM + DUP 4EVA carved into Magic Money tree by PM
Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping...
Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim
Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and...
Communists Confused by Billy No Mates
The Far left have found themselves even more confused than normal today after revelations from losing Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith.
The Leninist/Trotskyist group of...
New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker...
FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal
The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...
The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California.
Strickland...
POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit...
Some chap who won...
UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP
Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...
Labour tops FB polls as Conservative voters are busy working for a living
Labour tops Facebook election polls up and down the country as all the Conservative voters are too busy out working for a living to participate...
