Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...
Angry Toddler

Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations

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David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
We're all going to die

We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond

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Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

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Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...

Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians

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Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians. 6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

18
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...

A Christmas Carol reimagined by new Ministry of Truth to promote thrift

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The iconic Christmas tale has been edited by the new government department to 'instill a sense of fiscal caution' in the nation's youth. The new...
Michael Gove

Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad

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The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...

Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke

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Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election. “I want to...

Brexit voters furious at a British Court today

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Brexit voters today were unsure who to be furious at today after a British Court as opposed to a European Court made a decision about the nature of British Parliamentary Sovereignty.
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

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Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...

Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies

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The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...

David White follows The Rochdale Herald on Twitter

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The editorial team were said to be jubilant at the news this evening that former England, Leeds and Manchester City centre forward David White...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

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Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...

Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson

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Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...

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