Boris the Clown

Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children

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Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

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After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...

Anti-facemask campaigners in balaclavas thrilled about Austrian Burkha ban

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In a welcome development for table thumping foam merchants from the far right, all face coverings have been banned in Austria. For years, members far...

Tories to increase appeal to younger voters by disbanding

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The Conservative Party have announced they intend to disband after this years party conference in Manchester. Political analyst Ecgbert Wonk said, "The last election showed...

Mr Tumble denounces Theresa May and says not in our name.

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Leading clowns have issued a joint statement confirming that Theresa May's latest attacks on migrants and the NHS are not part of traditional clown...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

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At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...
David Cameron

Cameron cronies cry nonsense at cries of Conservative cronyism 

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Friends of David Cameron have sprung to his defence today after accusations that his Exit Honours list is an example of cronyism. "Clearly this is...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

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Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...

Corbyn Backs May In Commons Vote Again

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"I'm sure I can remember one, if you just give me a minute." Jeremy Corbyn replied this afternoon, following the Commons vote to call...

Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost

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One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...

UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement

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As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends. In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Old Graduate

University of life grads outraged over EU threats of further education

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Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them...

Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge

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In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;  "Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to...
Theresa May

One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, insists Theresa May

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Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister...
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

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Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...

Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP

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UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...

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