Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

0
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...
Wetherspoons

Move classrooms into pubs, says government

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After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...

Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead asked by Queen to prepare to govern

27
The Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead have been asked by the Queen to prepare to govern Britain. A spokesman for the Palace explained it...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

2
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...

Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

2
Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...

President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit

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Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...

Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader

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The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

1
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister...
Arlene Foster

Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal

6
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...

Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish

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Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

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Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

7
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...

Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...

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Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.

Paul Nuttall celebrates victory with speech outside 10 Downing Street

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UKIP supremo Paul Nuttall was in jubilant mood this afternoon after seeing his party win the 2017 election with a landslide victory. After visiting Her...

This is your eighty seventh and FINAL warning Corbyn tells Labour MPs

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After 52 of Jeremy Coalbin's unruly red rabble voted against the party whip over the Article 50 vote in parliament, the Labour leader has...

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