Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...
Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...
Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad
The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid
Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...
Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish
Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium
Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.
The news was...
Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?
A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his
administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff.
"Edison fake American....
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...
