Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party
After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure.
The Tory Party has long...
Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today.
In a...
Jeremy Corbyn’s children still enjoying playing with their new coal
Jeremy Corbyn’s children reportedly had a brilliant Christmas and are still enjoying playing with the new coal their Dad bought them.
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Future election results to be based on pandemic exam model
Following the overwhelming success of the Department of Education's strategy of grading academic exam results based on teachers' predicted grades and previous attainment levels,...
New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Sturgeon First Reserve for Brexit Talks Peter Duncan
Theresa May has committed to involving all "key stakeholders and significant leaders" in a working group on the UK's Brexit strategy.
US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
Public Health Warning-Skittles Ban comes into effect.
The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month.
The Home Office has also announced that all...
Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War
Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...
TM + DUP 4EVA carved into Magic Money tree by PM
Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping...
Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.
The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...
