Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon.
He will speak from the top of...
Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster.
Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion
Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...
Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit
Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...
Corbyn vows to walk to Brussels to get best Brexit deal
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is...
Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord...
David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks
The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks.
It's believed the replacement of Mr....
Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...
John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US
In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump
Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...
A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...
Britain faces Sophie’s choice over which incompetent arsehole leads it
Britain has revealed it is spoiled for choice on which incompetent aresehole it has leading it.
A spokesman told us, "Everyone is cheering at the...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
