Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals
The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals.
Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done our research...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Green Party suffers rectal prolapse over Swansea Tidal Lagoon go ahead
News of the go ahead for the green energy scheme at Swansea Tidal Lagoon has set heads spinning in Right On Brighton Pavilions today.
"I’ll...
Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands
While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...
Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...
Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas
The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointments
Two new appointments have been made to the cabinet of President-Elect Donald Trump.
"Although I know that I will be technically the Commander-In-Chief, people will...
Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...
Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services
In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services.
In the statement, Chancellor of...
Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections.
Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...
Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans
Come and have a go if you think your armada enough
After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
