Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

0
A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...
Popularity Contest

It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters

0
An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest. The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

0
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...
T20

Cricketers injured as dyslexic Anarchists riot at T20

9
Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20. Similar riots took place...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

0
The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

0
Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

New UKIP leader having hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I’m not a racist, but”...

0
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today but stating that UKIP’s new leader is undergoing hypnotherapy to stop him saying...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

29
The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

Surprise and anger as Boris slips down the ‘worst diplomat ever chart’

0
There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris...

Momentum Youth Wing nothing like Hitler Youth, insist Momentum

0
The new Momentum Youth Wing that has been proposed will be nothing like the Hitler Youth Momentum and Corbyn are insisting. "Well obviously they're nothing...
Boxer hitting punchbag

Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club

0
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996. “Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...

George Osborne seen in Waitrose buying fava beans and a nice Chianti

16
Following news reports of comments made by Old Screw Eyes, former chancellor of the Exchequer, serial job hoarder and moneybags George Osborne, it appears...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

0
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

0
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

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