Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...
The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

9
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

0
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...

Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies

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The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

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In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...
Rich People

Millionaires ‘very sorry’ following £70,000 fine

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A political party full of millionaires has said that the huge £70,000 fine they received for breaking electoral rules will really teach them a...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

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Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...

Farage To Sell Knighthood

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Sir Nigel Farage surprised many in the realm this morning when he put his newly acquired knighthood up for sale on eBay. "I was going...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

1
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

0
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Jeremy Corbyn threatens to remove ISIS leaders from Christmas Card List

Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbott have taken the bold step to thoroughly condemn the actions of ISIS supporters this week and are preparing to...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

0
In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs

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Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs. The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May

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Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the...

Homes burning down better than house prices going down say Kensington Council

8
Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week. The council's...

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