Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many...
Blair and Farage to launch new political party together
The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release.
The party,...
Relief as Theresa May and Arlene Foster finish scissoring out a deal
“It was no time for hammering,” confirmed the Prime Minister, “we had quite enough of a hammering in the election, which we still, I...
World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
52% support euthanasia bill
The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
Scientists admit Rees-Mogg is experiment to create the perfect twat
There was mild surprise today, as the lid was blown off a secret program revealing that Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg was the product of...
Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline
The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.
DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Corbyn hospitalised after collapse
Man of the people Jeremy Corbyn was today airlifted by helicopter to A&E after a suspected smugness overdose .
The incident occurred just moments after...
Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident
Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...
It’s bloody difficult being a bloody difficult woman, says bloody difficult woman.
On Thursday night, Theresa May was stood up by her strong mandate and had to make her lonely way home alone. "Being Prime Minister...
Ethnic cleanliness next to Godliness according to the DUP
The DUP were apparently acknowledging today the new opportunities opening up to them, with some pleasure.
DUP spokesmuppet Seamus Allways said "This is orr moment...
Communists Confused by Billy No Mates
The Far left have found themselves even more confused than normal today after revelations from losing Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith.
The Leninist/Trotskyist group of...
