Tracey Crouch

New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster

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Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

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Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

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Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep

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A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

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A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone...
Teenagers

Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...

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The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence

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In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent. "During a period of initial uncertainty, many...

 MP who understands difference between dinner and tea appointed Secretary for the North

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Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide. For many in the current government, the...

Surprise and anger as Boris slips down the ‘worst diplomat ever chart’

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There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris...

UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...

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The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks

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Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks. It's believed Theresa May made...

Dianne Abbott’s ex-husband confirms she often gets headaches

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Dianne Abbott's ex-husband has put to bed rumours that Dianne was merely pulling a sicky to avoid casting her vote for Article 50 by...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

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Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...

Theresa May’s password ‘strongandstable’ easiest to guess say hackers

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In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...

Anti-facemask campaigners in balaclavas thrilled about Austrian Burkha ban

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In a welcome development for table thumping foam merchants from the far right, all face coverings have been banned in Austria. For years, members far...

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