Politics

With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in office. “I think it's the only way I’m going to get...

Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed, among the membership of right-wing extremist groups. Doctor Jean Splicer, 42,...

There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public sector pay rises by 323 votes to 309. The government's narrow...

White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was part of a series of cultural events showcasing the rich...

The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by reassuring that medical advances mean most of them will live...

The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was given a child's table in a corner so as not...

Theresa May is reported to be surrounded by a Bomb Disposal Unit this evening after the discovery of an unexploded grenade inside her ass. The grenade, nicknamed "Dementia Tax" was apparently inserted into May's rear...

The Far left have found themselves even more confused than normal today after revelations from losing Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith.  The Leninist/Trotskyist group of semi-professional paper sellers, the Socialist Workers Party, who consistently recommended...

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously short." He justified his call by stating that "What's the matter...

Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind of showbiz spat not seen since the Blur/Oasis feuding days...

Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the country. Activate spokesperson, Randy Carrington-Phurr, confirmed with the Rochdale Herald the...

The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced earlier today. As part of the joint commitment between May and...

There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news Sadiq Khan has suggested a potential second Brexit referendum. Although the...

In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Rishi Sunak announced, "Following the outstanding achievement of...

Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe Academy told us, "It's been insane all morning. They just...

A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his willingness to share a platform with people he disagrees with...