I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Wetherspoons

Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons

0
Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

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Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...

Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit

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In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

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In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-mogg urged to fund charity ‘The Rees-mogg Foundation for mothers who conceive via...

0
Jacob Rees-mogg was urged today to fund a new charity to back up his assertion that life begins at conception, and no matter how...
Dartboard

UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard

0
The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts...
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

1
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was...
Theresa may Trump

Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador

0
The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...

Vazeline Intensive Care

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Labour MP Keith Vaz, who recently quit as Chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee is claimed to have claimed that there was nothing...

New UKIP leader had hypnotherapy to stop him saying “I”m not a racist, but”...

10
UKIP’s press officer Ms Gline Garafe reassured a nervous nation today by stating that UKIP’s new leader has undergone hypnotherapy to stop him saying...

Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost

2
One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

0
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

0
Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics. In an interview he...

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