I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger

4
What’s your favourite type of monger? Picture him: Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...

Public outcry as politician caught out telling the truth

0
Big news in the world of politics today where the Mayor of Rushcliffe has been lambasted for not lying.  Christine Jeffreys, Mayor of Rushcliffe...

Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage

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Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a...

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada

11
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...

Leadsom’s Children ‘Huge Drain’ On The NHS, Blast Critics

0
A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace. Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for...

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

0
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...

Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage

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In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
Applause Clapping

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause

8
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...
Boris the Clown

Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children

0
Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...

OED to honour Nigel Farage with his own word – A farage

0
Following the failure of a parliamentary motion to ennoble seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage with a peerage or a knighthood, the Oxford English...
Teenagers

Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...

0
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Rochdale’s Brickcroft Lane Social Club unveil The Danczuk Memorial Bin

2
It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens...

Not enough evidence to convict Danczuk of rape says CPS

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The Crown Prosecution Service has declined to prosecute Simon "Shagger" Danczuk on the basis that they are not confident they will secure a conviction.
Tim Farron

Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power

The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

0
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit. With many people warning that...

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