Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

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Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
School class

PARENT’S FURY AT COMPULSORY ARABIC LESSONS AT ROCHDALE PRIMARY SCHOOL

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Parents are furious about Rochdale Primary School's decision to force children to learn Arabic symbols in Maths lessons. Many parents believe that forcing their children...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Donald Trump ends democracy in America

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I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice

I wish it could be Brexit everyday

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When the pounds begins to fall and economic growth begins to stall It puts a great big smile on a remainer’s face If you dive...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

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It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

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Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

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The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...

A Christmas Carol reimagined by new Ministry of Truth to promote thrift

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The iconic Christmas tale has been edited by the new government department to 'instill a sense of fiscal caution' in the nation's youth. The new...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

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Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

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In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...
Blair Middle East Refugees

The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics

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The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...

Ringmaster May’s Brexit circus will tour till 2021 unless David Davis gets eaten

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It was announced last Friday that Ringmaster may’s Brexit circus will attempt to extend its world record breaking tour of Europe until 2021 unless...

Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles

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The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Jimmy Young “Masterminded Thatcherism” says Released Documents

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In documents now only released after his death Jimmy Young has been revealed as the Mastermind behind the social & economic policies of Margaret Thatcher.

Theresa May declares ‘sit down session’ with Trump a huge success

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British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday declared her "sit down meeting" with newly elected US President Donald Trump to have been "a roaring success". "He...

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