Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators

0
Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...
T20

Cricketers injured as dyslexic Anarchists riot at T20

9
Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20. Similar riots took place...

Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit

0
Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...

Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid

0
Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

0
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

Conservatives horrified at ‘meagre’ income of BBC presenters

0
On Wednesday in was revealed to the public how much some of our favourite BBC Presenters earn, as well as some rubbish ones too. The...
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

21
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

TM + DUP 4EVA carved into Magic Money tree by PM

4
Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping...

Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee

0
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences. "It's an outrage!" stated...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

44
Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits,...

Historians will look back at 2016 as a major catalyst. They won’t remember celebrity...

0
Whilst you were all distracted with American politics and the ins and outs of Article 50 being triggered, the government has passed the controversial...

Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending

0
It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

2
Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...

May rains on International Happiness Day with Brexit announcement

0
March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century. However there...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

0
Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith

0
Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife. Mr. Smith told...

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