Scientist

Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds

0
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly. Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...
Titanic

British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...

2
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...

Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.

19
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late. Now the UK government has come up...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

0
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.

City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit

0
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972,...
Hangmans Noose

Tories Include Return of Death Penalty In Election Manifesto

0
The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

0
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...
Interrogation

Torture works say fictional super villains and Donald Trump

2
Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works". "I've racked my brains to find...

Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine

0
After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road." His...
fox cubs

Percentage of foxes voting for Conservatives hits all-time high

0
A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said "She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least...

Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...

6
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk

2
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person

0
Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

3
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

0
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

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