Woman alleges Corbyn hasn’t paid her for pram PR stunt yet
Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in...
Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections. Scientists have restored brain activity to...
More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur
Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings
After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity
Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...
Prime Minister Hospitalised After Strong and Stable Seizure
Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure.
The incident occurred while...
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...
Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.
Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major
Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles.
Major,...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as “transferable skill”
Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson's success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to...
A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries
The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes...
Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island
Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today.
Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...
Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US
In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position
As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.
So we...
