The Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, was tonight believed to be on the run from her own creation, the Keepers of Great Britain.

Created following her recent Tory Party Conference speech which, taken almost entirely from the pages of “Mein Kampf”, outlined plans to force employers to “keep lists of foreign employees”.

Sadly for her the newly appointed “List Keeper General” has found out that her name sounds pretty fucking suspicious. Having Googled it, it turns out to be derived from Sanskrit and she is wanted to “help the people to achieve a more pure Britain”.

It is believed that this will include a mailbag on her head and a beating in a poorly lit car park.

Come to think of it, ‘Rudd’ is a foreign fish as well…..she is properly fucked!