After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair’s ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy found floating in the Atlantic Ocean. He’d knocked up the ego life raft after he’d been left stranded and unnoticed overseas for several months.
Commentators say the orange shit storm in the US had placed the attention seeker under an intolerable burden of late.
Previous reports of a sighting from five weeks ago tell of a boozy unshaven man trying to get the attention of fellow drinkers in a US bar.
Our US source has exclusively revealed to us the story of what a sorry figure he had cut there;
“He’d been standing precariously on a table chatting drivel but people just ignored him, eyes glued to the latest news about Trump.
“He resolved to escape back to the UK by constructing a life raft out of some old lies and insincere platitudes that he’d found lying around from his tenure as British Prime Minister. The the last time I saw him he was off to the beach muttering about saving the British people”
After being winched onboard a rescue helicopter from the sea, the pilot allegedly had to be talked into not tossing him back in like a Old unwanted boot.
Tony is now said to be in a critical but stable condition in an undisclosed London hospital. A friend of the family, who wished to remain anonymous, has said he has now regained consciousness, and has been asking if they liked his inconsequential speech about Tony Blair saving Britain.