Other News

In shock revelations that will shake the Roman Catholic Church to its very foundations, stories are emerging alleging child sex abuses and so called "kiddy-fiddling" at Ampleforth School. What are certain to be the very...

The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the blubber of baby seals. After much controversy from vegans, and middle-class...

The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time. It is understood that the ex-UKIP leader will take over from Dimbleby later...

Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.

The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000 dick pics. A Foreign Office insider, Ivor Biggin told us, "It's...

Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of unlikely literary immigrants to Britain. A spokesman for the Home Office Department...

Huddersfield photographer Golcar Matt snapped a cloud in the shape of Great Britain, and meteorologists are debating its religious significance. “It is a clear sign of a Catholic God,” said Shinner McVeigh. “Just look at...

Conservative plans to abolish the Serious Fraud Office has absolutely nothing to do with the investigations into rich Conservative supporters,said a spokesgrunt for the party today. Current investigations into the alleged attempts to rig Libor...

POTAUS Donald Trump has announced the creation of a Coronavirus Czar charged with coordinating the US's response to Coronavirus. He revealed that Doogie Howser M.D. has been appointed. In a 5 hour rambling announcement POTATUS...

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish Garda are now considering prosecuting other celebrity blasphemers. The most notable example...

As panic buying continues, one branch of LIDL has opened a second till. Regional Manager Labia McKenzie, 17, said "We've taken the drastic measure of opening till number 3 at our store in Corby. The...

Tech giant Apple has refused to comment on reports that customers will be forced to replace their own eyes if they want to use the new iPhone 9, which will be sold WITHOUT a screen.  The rumours, which come less than a month before the company...

A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he could fly. Friend Martin Williams told us, "We tried to tell...

?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in 2049 will be spear-headed by a new slogan, one more...

The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got through age verification processes in order to access Adult websites. Teen...

The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny. Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about pervert Harvey Weinstein at a charity gala in Hollywood, the...