Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside the Big Brother household at around 6pm this evening for allegedly Facebook live streaming to his two dozen followers the name of the first person to be evicted despite warnings not to in case it prejudiced the way viewers voted.

Channel 5 chief executive said in a statement ‘we have repeatedly told Mr Robinson, real name Mr Stephen yaxmilk Lennon & McCartney, that it would not be fair to the overall outcome of the show if he just insisted on revealing who he thought was coming out the house rather then letting due process take its course.

We were left with no further option then to call the proper authorities to resolve this matter. I mean I wouldn’t mind if he was ever even factually accurate but he only ever mentions the funny coloured housemates never the white ones.”

Mr Robinson was last seen being bundled into the back of a police van shouting ‘call my lawyer, call my lawyer set up a crowd funding page and book me a holiday to Spain.’

Illiterate writer of nonsense. Great at headlines but tail off during the story ;-) Available for weddings funerals and kids parties. Never lie, or do I? Married to a retired supermodel come part time donkey racer. Will work for beer and crisps.