Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable
The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Walkers to launch new gammon flavoured crisps
Crisp maker, Walkers have announced the launch of a new line of gammon flavoured crisps.
The new crisps will come in a range of gammon...
Britain First’s meme maker in coma
As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy...
Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
Theresa May won’t let Brit Gas 12.5% price hike ruin her hiking holiday
What could be scarier than millions of ageing Brexit backers being hit with a massive energy bill increase right when May's taking enough heat trying to turn her policy fantasies into reality? And especially when she's previously mentioned an energy price cap but now doesn't really want to talk about it again in case she has to do something.
Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke.
Gallagher, who is currently touring...
SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble
The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
Special place in hell for people who put kisses on Facebook comments
An ancient Biblical commandment that has been left out of Bibles and Torah for thousands of years has finally been translated.
Archeolinguist Barry Wordsworth told...
Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone
The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
What have you done to celebrate WORLD BOOK DAY?
The 5th of March is World Book Day.
On the 5th of March many people around the world like nothing more than to dress their...
Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage.
"I didn't know which way...
Wenger at wits end as he cannot figure out how to get sack from...
Arsene Wenger was left frustrated after the end of a tumultuous week which saw Arsenal lose twice against Manchester city and rounded off by...
One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat
Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...
999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’
A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...
