Other News

The Burt Bacharach song, "Always something there to remind me" was written about Herpes. Or that's according to a new documentary to be screened on digital music channel, Scotch Egg 1 over Christmas. During the...

Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying for some time to come up with a measure of...

Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the rebel scum.  Recent Question Time programmes have featured panels heavy with...

The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed. Ishit Yu Not, a 33-year-old North Korean doctor with a gun to his...

There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait for reimbursement. “This is a scandal!” Terrance Loan, Con MP for...

The Vatican has tonight declared an official miracle following England's penalty shootout victory over some goat farmers from Colombia. The victory is the first since Harry "18 bites" Short scored the winning penalty against...

The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural historians. Avian studies experts from the Rochdale Museum of Modern Natural...

As Theresa May surprised the country by announcing a snap election supposed Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn was nowhere to be found. Only hours later  the Obi-wan Kenobi lookalike was found facing the wall in...

The last man intelligent enough to set the clock on the microwave to the correct time has reportedly died aged 74. The man, an astrophysicist and cosmologist who is largely credited with furthering mankind's understanding...

The trio who recently opted out of any future appearances on Great British Bake Off after its acquisition by Channel 4 announced the news earlier today. The decision stangely coincides with the news that the...

Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is a bit shit. Tomlinson, 31, from Ramsbottom, who stood down from...

It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake Off winner. Knowing full well that Chelsea fans had it...

Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear of sounding like you’re a fan of Trump, Farage and...

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

“If they want to have religious symbol in the name, they should rename it Mornington Cross, a proper Christian symbol, much more British,” Golding said.

The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the annual show, Brooker was famous for dissecting the previous year...