The idiot whose job it is to make Brexit happen says that May’s latest deal is non-binding. The latest deal, cobbled together from fudge and flannel, is not expected to hold water.

The infamous EU referendum was, of course, non-binding. The result has, therefore, been acted upon with immediate effect. Parallels have been drawn with Geoff Hurst’s second goal in the 1966 World Cup Final. Did the ball cross the line? In both cases, the Russian officials said yes.

The principal bone of contention is the Irish border. Typically, a border goes around an edge. In true Irish joke fashion, the Irish border instead goes through the middle somewhere.

The Sunday Express was suitably impressed by May?’s prowess. “Now get us a gold-plated trade deal!” it trumpeted. ?”After May?’s triumph in Brussels, we have the EU over a barrel.” The Sunday Express also gave away a free pair of rose-tinted blinkers to every reader.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of Brexit, May has been forced to concede points during every round of talks. If this were a boxing match, it would have been stopped by now. May is on the ropes and does not seem to be able to fight back.

It would help her case if she knew the meaning of Brexit. A meaningless word, which is having a monumental impact. Schrödinger’s buzzword, for Schrödinger’s referendum. The Tories’ hero, Winston Churchill, could well have described Brexit as “a paradox wrapped in bullshit inside an oxymoron”. Which brings us back to Schrödinger’s expert, the oxymoronic David Davis.

Davis, wearing his rose-tinted blinkers, confidently expects the EU to bow down before our Imperial might. Even after British politicians and press have systematically insulted the EU for years. The massive tariffs that will (or will not) be imposed upon imports will melt away like the fudge on the Irish border.

Schrödinger is reported to be simultaneously spinning in his grave, and not spinning.