Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish Garda are now considering prosecuting other celebrity blasphemers. The most notable example...

UKIP launch party leader toy doll (with interchangeable head)

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The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a range of toy doll merchandise following their recent party conference....
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

2
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in some interview for some crap. The elusive one time Eastenders...

‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

1
John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. Despite the fact...

Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader

Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

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In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said Thursday that while he enjoyed a good session fingering the...

Theresa May wins ‘Person Most Surprised Theresa May is Prime Minister’ Award seventh week...

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Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister Award" for the seventh week running. The award has been presented...
Cat

Dead mice brought in by cats to be declared part of household income in...

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Cat-owners are now being asked to count any rodents or birds left on their doorstep as declarable earnings in their application for means-tested benefits, according to government sources. The latest guidelines issued to employees of...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

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Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with the frankly preposterous idea of a proper socialist trying to...

I am a Vagrant Get Me Out Of Here!

1
Customers visiting a Tesco supermarket in Leytonstone, East London had a surprise when they were asked to pay £2 to step inside a “Santa's Grotto” tucked into a corner outside the supermarket.

Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises

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A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union believes that pretty soon there will be no commuters left,...

Rochdale letting agency wins top award. 

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A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.   The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the firm their much sought after "Services to innovative bastardry" award...

Olympics cancelled. To be replaced by international Fortnite tournament.

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Reports are emerging that the International Olympic Committee has convened to discuss cancelling this year's summer Olympics.  The report, which comes to The Rochdale Herald from sports correspondent Veranda Barbecue, details plans to call off...
Trump Supporters

Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”

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‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.

Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party

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After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure. The Tory Party has long been thought by a few, if not by many, to...

Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network

3
The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped off their ripped off meme of Jeremy Corbyn on an...

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