Other News

The Conservative Party has surprised many by including a return of the death penalty in their election manifesto. Explaining the eye catching manifesto promise, Jacob Rees-Mogg said the following, "The country is over populated and the...

Jeremy Corbyn met a press conference today to tell the British public exactly how delighted he is that Theresa May has called a snap general election. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He told the assembled press pack,...

Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a member of Parliament since 2010, said that he'd simply had...

Michael Barrymore is to present the next series of, "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here". The new series will see contestants head to a remote island where they will spend three weeks living...

Pint sized, shouty, hater of brown people, Steven Yaxley-Lennon, better known by one of his dozen names 'Tommy Robinson' presumably to sound more British and working class, claimed a free McDonalds milkshake today whilst...

Horse faced professional turd and former Daily Mail columnist Katie Hopkins has apparently been offered a new job by the GB olympic equestrian team. Katie, the former Apprentice contestant and Jungle evictee who lost her...

Privy Councillor and former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe has been suspended from the Conservative Party after shocking claims of historical abuse and inappropriate conduct were made last night. Miss Widdecombe was a contestant in...

A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with 12 of his mates before heading out to get hammered...

Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional. His father, Robert Cratchitt, has condemned the decision, insisting his son's age and...

In what is turning out to be a much dragged out saga of scandal after scandal from those jumped up meme thieves over at SNN comes further revelations as our offices at The Rochdale...

Brexit Party candidate Graham Cushway has been forced to issue an apology after being spotted without a Remembrance Day poppy on his Luftwaffe uniform. Mr Cushway aka Lord Pyre, bassist of the "Nazi vampire" themed...

Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf course or at the Polo, the only available topic of...

An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care requirements are met. Following the budget announcement on Thursday that this...

Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all. The study, run by Rochdale Community University, was attended by a large array of...

Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in Singapore for £43M. "Brexit is going to be brilliant for UK...

So "Popity Ping" to you all. Have a daffodil