Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120
Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Halcyon Days Here to Stay
Alexander Boris de Pfeffle Johnson won't even be declared as head of the Tory Party until the needless sham of a leadership election is...
Zuckerberg assures Facebook have absolutely no information about your STD
It's a sore subject that can become inflamed easily but there's an itch that needs to be scratched.
In the wake of the fall out...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru
Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
Russians say Donald Trump and Mr Blobby never seen in room together
Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past.
“We look into all...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim
Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson
Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test
Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the...
Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake
Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins.
Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...
