Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K.

Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a Nuttall is a pink, puss filled boil that can appear around the mouth and anus. Doctors have found that overworking the glands used to force out high levels of unjustified hatred can cause a build up of foul smelling toxic fluid that appear as Nuttalls around the source.

“More often than not Nuttalls will appear on the lips and tongue as this is often the source of the hateful rhetoric. For the same reason we have found increasing numbers on the anuses of UKIP supporters.”

Medical professionals are warning those easily influenced to avoid the Daily Express until further notice. There is increasing concern as the condition seems to be spreading amongst Conservatives.

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