‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Tories not free market enough for money grabbing Conn man
Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate...
Theresa May reveals plans for future funding cuts.
Theresa May faced the press this week in a hope to clarify future government spending. In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald she...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Coronavirus maybe more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith warns Government
The Government is warning that Coronavirus could be more deadly than Iain Duncan Smith. The warning comes as the number of cases in Britain...
Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay
The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news
Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even though it...
The Shard ‘nearly finished’
The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers.
Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...
Flexitarians disappointed to learn that it means same as omnivorous
Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous.
Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep
The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away...
Unmasked – The Real Jack the Ripper
The question of the identity of the serial killer known as ‘The Whitechapel Murderer’, ‘Leather Apron’ or, most famously Jack the Ripper has been...
Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun
The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...
