Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED
The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified.
The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...
Queue for pedalos during Dunkirk evacuation shorter than Benidorm immigration control confirm veterans
Eyewitness accounts given by proper British holidaymakers desperate to return to the UK reveal that queues for pedalos during the Dunkirk evacuation were shorter...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
Rochdale Man wins Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the Sun is HOT!!!
Joe Griffiths, from Rochdale, has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics after discovering the sun is HOT.
It turns out that Isaac Newton wasn't...
London not centre of Universe say astronomers
In a shock announcement today, astronomers have come out and stated categorically that London is not the centre of the universe.
The BBC's face of...
Corbyn “gives” Labour MP’s free vote on Trident
Besieged Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has generously given the MP's in the Labour Party the opportunity to vote with their conscience rather than...
A new Pokemon Go addition announced today is the Govey
The rare Pokemon can be found near knife drawers and can be evolved from its natural Tory stage, to raging Racist Govenator stage to...
World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...
The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.
Major newspapers not really committed to calling for reform of tax avoidance system for...
The readership of Britain's newspapers say they're confused that the papers aren't being more assertive in calling for tax reform.
Right wing press connoisseur, Cliff...
Leamington to become post Brexit English capital
The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...
Bruce Forsyth ‘can’t wait’ to draw his pension
Following the news today that the government of the United Kingdom will shortly be raising the retirement age to 168 years old Bruce Forsyth...
May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris
Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Candice wins Great British Pout Off 2016
Candice from Bedfordshire has won The Great British Pout Off after ten gruelling weeks of televised puckering.
UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood
Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan."
The historian and...
Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins
28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently...
