Homeopaths planning a protest march against NHS cuts have begun watering down their plans.
The United Kingdom’s largest association of diluted medicine, Et Aqua, initially announced plans for a ten million person show stopper march on central London. But they soon began watering down the plans when it was pointed out that a counter protest by the BMA would involve a gang of GPs throwing aspirins at the homeopaths.
“Medicine of that power should never be used against innocent alternative medicine providers.” Mr Globule, organiser of the event, stated.
“It’s the equivalent of a nuclear blast. I’m not sure how many people in London would survive such an attack. It will be carnage.”
Keen to avoid causing a backlash, Et Aqua, will now stage a sit in on the banks of the Thames at low tide and force emergency services to rescue them as the water rises.
“They will have to get to us quickly.” Mr Globule stated. “If even a toe of one of our professionals is submerged into the waters of the Thames it’s likely to create a force equivalent to human bridge from one side to the other.
Leave it a little longer and the entire Thames will be as powerful as a magic person. I do not think anyone is ready for an invisible giant raging across the south of England.”
The Met has been asked by the Herald how they intend to handle any protest, whatever its strength, and they gave this response.
“Whatever they do we’ll just get out the water cannon. I’m sure once we turn on the tap water they’ll all dissolve away out of sight and no one will notice them.”