James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE
The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions.
His fans have welcomed the news, but their...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact
UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...
Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector
After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role.
A tory deflector will typically take...
Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus
The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Snake oil cures are for idiots, say snakes
A spokesnake for snakes everywhere has said that snake oil cures not one single disease known to man.
"I get that being mortal is terrifying...
New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
Flexitarians disappointed to learn that it means same as omnivorous
Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous.
Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Government that can’t afford to electrify TransPennine Express announces plans for a space program
The Government has announced a vague and ill thought out plan to start a space program instead of electrifying the TransPennine Express railway line.
A...
That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence
America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Remain support Nigel’s calls for 2nd EU Referendum
With around 1.5 million people and rising having signed a petition calling for a re-run of the referendum that decided the UK's membership of...
Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal
Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.
Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
