Gaucho steak restaurant chain latest to get burnt by borrowing to beef up returns
Restaurant chain Gaucho, and its sister Cau, collapsed into administration this week, after it was steered into a series of financial mis-steaks
Administrators have taken...
Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Mel Brooks quits movies, I’ve been Trumped, he says
Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality...
Police eager to establish if pound coin thrown at Burnley FC player was projectile...
A Burnley fan who threw a pound coin at Joe Hart is on the run from Police today after authorities claim he is now...
Child refugees can stay till after they’ve seen NHS Dentist
Teenage child refugees completing their journey to the UK were breathed a huge sigh of relief after being told they could remain in the UK until they could secure an appointment with an NHS Dentist.
Spell Check a Racist crashes Facebook
Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May
A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...
IT department confirms that turning Maybot off and on again didn’t work
The latest attempt to reboot the Downing Street operating system failed after the Tory party IT department tried turning Maybot off and on again.
Nigel...
Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...
Woman wins “I’ve got no self respect, get me out of here!”
A woman called Scarlett Moffat, who you've probably never heard of or will again, has won the annual competition to see just how far...
Move classrooms into pubs, says government
After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
All Future Covers Of David Bowie Hit To Be Recorded As Life On Titan
The David Bowie hit Life On Mars is getting a slight posthumous makeover, it would appear.
In response to NASA’s announcement about the possibility of...
Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker
Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker.
In a statesman, a...
UKIP and Corbynista trolls to colour code social media posts to avoid confusion.
UKIP and the Corbynista wing of the Labour Party have reached a landmark agreement to prevent social media posts by their respective trolls and sock puppets...
Michael Gove is somebody’s favourite for something
Michael Gove's mum has spoken of her delight this morning after her son was described as somebody's favourite, including her's, for the first time...
