Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’
The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.
The policy, which will see families currently...
“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election
Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations.
The Prime Minister will require the support...
Elderly people left speechless after discovering smart phone can make tea
19 year old student, Gary Downes, showed his Grandad Terance his new Samsung Galaxy S7 last week.
"I was showing him all the latest cool...
?Kim Jong Un invents universal cure
The secretive state of North Korea has managed to cure most illnesses from the common cold to cancer, it has been revealed.
Ishit Yu Not,...
Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning.
Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Two kids remember something – proves some hippy shit totally
With all the scientific rigour of a hippy Merlin with a bone through his nose, the BBC headlines recently included the assertion that the...
Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
Remainers celebrate Brexit anniversary by repeatedly bashing their heads against brick wall
The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn't be assed...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Theresa May sanctioned by ATOS for missing Woman’s Hour Interview
The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row.
The soon to be...
Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms
Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last Night of...
Daily Mail wins award for inciteful journalism
The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”).
Editor Paul Dacre...
Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan
Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans.
United manager...
Labour confirms 2018 party conference will be held in Mecca
The Labour Party has denied accusations of ‘Muslim appeasement’ at its annual conference in Brighton, after several eagle-eyed observers noticed that its conference banner...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
