Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies
A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it.
The...
Government announces new mascot for Brexit Will of the People
Brexit Minister, David Davis, today announced the launch of a new campaign which aims to give Britain's exit from the European Union a more...
Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke
Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election.
“I want to...
Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who
In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...
Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station.
The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Phil Spencer really was a Secret Agent
In an ironic illustration of life imitating art it was revealed today that Channel 4 property porn star, Phil Spencer, really did operate as...
Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage.
"I didn't know which way...
Southern Rail whistleblower reveals driving a train ‘piece of piss’ compared to programming washer-dryer.
Following the furore over Philip Hammond's comments over female train drivers, The Rochdale Herald has been contacted by an employee of Southern Rail who...
Catholic Church installs automated ‘Buggery Forgiveness Hotline’ to ease waiting times
The hard-pushed Catholic Church has created call-centre style automated phone lines to reduce congestion caused by confessing their most popular sin.
"Local priests across the...
Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians
The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...
Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”
Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...
Free market capitalism works says financial wizard pouring billions of public money into free...
A party of financial wizards who can't agree which wizard should be head wizard has given a talk today on how free market capitalism...
“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...
Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.
