Magic Mushroom

Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured

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Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Hippies Hippy

Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians

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A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...

Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche

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An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday. Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...

A little food for thought… A pack of wolves

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The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...

Tickle my tummy, says genocidal bastard

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A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning. The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this...
Hurricane

Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama

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Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over. In a speech he said, "Watched...

Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka

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Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH:...
John Lewis Weasel

Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

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The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an...
Fox

Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports

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Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic'...
Pigeons

Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’

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Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of...

New York Giraffe constipated not pregnant

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On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen. 'April' the...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

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In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...

Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson

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A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

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The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...

Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.

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It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation. The shock admission was beamed into the...

Whales begin having Tupperware parties due to levels of plastic pollution

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Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties. Professor Frederick Seddon of...

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