We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP’s went on their jollies, leaving the country to run better by itself.
“Et jus’ don’t werk” said annoying southern farmer Geoffrey K. Barnard. “Et’s like they’re jus’ killen the wee blighters fer fun. Et’s not on es et?”
The proposed areas for the cull seemed like odd choices as they were predominantly densely populated; Salford, Glasgow, Birmingham, Leeds and Rochdale.
However, further investigation gave us some worrying conclusions after we got an exclusive secret interview with Harold Plum-Mouthe, a senior civil servant who wishes to remain anonymous.
“Ha ha ha ha” he laughed. “You’re confused! They were culling badgers but all the experts said it wasn’t working. Can you imagine the government pressing on with something so pointless and cruel at great expense?”
We looked blankly into each others eyes for a short while before he continued.
“Badgers is what they secretly call the poor. They’re going to cull the poor so calm down old bean.”