BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered up so far, bosses are worried that Sir David Attenborough...

A little food for thought… A pack of wolves

The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left behind. There were five in the front group but sadly...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have described as "exhilarating", "majestic” and “inexplicably arousing”, the wildlife gurus...
Magic Mushroom

Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured

Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says a lamp in this giant spoon. The story began once upon...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll of a group of Sheffield residents on the shape of...

Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go

Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game as being opposed to the basic tenets of their religion. Facebook...

Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded and unfair on the zebra, who has lived that way...
John Lewis Weasel

Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an outrage!' said Paul Slaithwaite (53) 'Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they...

Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka

Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH: Good morning, Kumbuka. Kumbuka: Whatcha. Listen, I need to correct you...

Whales begin having Tupperware parties due to levels of plastic pollution

Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, "It's almost 6 decades since suburban women...

Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson

A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in a metaphor about Brexit. The metaphor appeared on Rochdale resident, Board's...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago because you now sell a barrel of North Sea Oil...

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after seeking veterinary care. "Aye, I wiz jist out for a run...
John Lewis Weasel

Russia denies involvement as Springwatch ‘Favourite British Wild Animal’ poll won by the weasel.

Questions have been asked as the BBC Springwatch poll to find Britain's favourite wild animal was convincingly won by the weasel. "I have to say it's a bit of a shock" said presenter Christov Pakov....
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about changing things up for ages." Mr. Pickle, of no fixed...
Hippies Hippy

Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians

A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse, say local Indians. Morning Dew Gojiflower, (not her real name, which...

Follow us

55,586FansLike
67FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
22,182FollowersFollow

Popular Posts