Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year

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The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement  in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today. When asked what his motivation for such...

Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

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Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
Dog Window

Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in

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A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...

Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson

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A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Lemming suicide myth rebunked

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For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

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Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...

Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche

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An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday. Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

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The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go

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Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
David Cameron Shed

‘It was a mistake not a disaster’ – Cameron opens up about PigGate

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Former prime minister David Cameron says placing his genitals in the mouth of a severed pigs head has 'turned out less badly than I...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

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Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
John Lewis Weasel

Russia denies involvement as Springwatch ‘Favourite British Wild Animal’ poll won by the weasel.

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Questions have been asked as the BBC Springwatch poll to find Britain's favourite wild animal was convincingly won by the weasel. "I have to say...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

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In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

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Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...

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