Pay attention to my sexual preferences not my instincts as a predator, said Kevin...
In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come...
House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans.
Nearly okay to kill elephants again
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...
Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest
The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...
Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy.
The whale was found beside...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
A little food for thought… A pack of wolves
The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...
Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work
We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Dickheads eaten by lions
At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa.
The...
Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation.
The shock admission was beamed into the...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson
A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...
