Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson

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A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Lemming suicide myth rebunked

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For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...
Dog Window

Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in

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A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...

Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton

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Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

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The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities

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A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

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Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...
Turkberry

Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’

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Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

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Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...

Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year

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The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement  in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today. When asked what his motivation for such...

Whales begin having Tupperware parties due to levels of plastic pollution

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Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties. Professor Frederick Seddon of...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

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Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...

A little food for thought… A pack of wolves

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The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...

South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest

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The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...

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