A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly into the living room from the garden after spending fifteen seconds outside.

Brian, a Terrier from Middleton, was pretty insistent that he be let outside to “take care of business” before immediately changing his mind.

“Well obvious I wanted to go outside when I was inside. That’s only natural for a dog.” Brian told The Rochdale Herald.

“But now that I’m outside I obviously want to come back in. Obviously.”

His owners Steve and Barbara Dickinson are said to be at a bit of a loss.

“I honestly don’t know what he wants. If I let him back in, he’s just going to sit at the patio door and look at the garden and whine. I can hardly hear Cash in the Attic when he’s inside.”

“But if I let him out he’s going to sit at the door and silently stare at me with his nose pressed against the window.”

Famed dog psychologist, Deefa Dorg, told the Herald. “It’s sounds like Brian might be a bit of a dick.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.